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Helping
This is for people who are mental health professionals: I just want to ask should a therapist bring in his skeptiscm when he/she is treating someone. I mean my female cousin was seeing a male therapist who (1)never listens; (2) was hard to open to due to the fact that he never helped solve the problems he just acted the way a friend would. For example: My cousin told her therapist that her boss told her not to do certain things on the job and my cousins male therapist said; why that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Another example: Her previous boss wanted his old secretary to come back because he missed her so he was very mean to my cousin. However, the male therapist did not help her deal with it instead he said (1) what an SOB or (2) he really hates you. What do you guys think of a therapist like this? PS: She didnt fall apart but she had to deal with any problems that arose in her life on her own she couldnt talk to him.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'm not a therapist, but I've seen several, and I plan to study psychology in university. I've also done SOME independent research.
Therapists can't tell you what to do or how to solve your problems. They can give you techniques to get what you want, and ideas, but ultimately, their role is to help you take charge of your own life. They're there to listen. They're there to bounce ideas off, but not to give direct instructions.
It sounds like the therapist is using active listening techniques--basically, you refer directly to the comment and how it makes the person feel so they know you're listening. It allows you a feeling of understanding and validation, and sometimes hearing it repeated back gives you a new perspective.
It's hard to know for sure, since I'm not the one in the situation, and nor are you. If she's not comfortable with him, then she should probably be looking for a new therapist. But if she thinks she can open up eventually, it might be that he's just the person to challenge her.
None of us can tell you for certain.
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I've been to bunches of therapists and they're all like that, like one time a bunch of pp l didnt like me so he asked if i was in a gang and i was like wtf do i look like im in a gang? becuz im like really short and stuff, and the one before that would tell my parents everything i said to her *which is against the law might i add* plus whatever advice she did give me, messed things up even more! so idunno, i guess just tell your cousin to keep looking for a new therapist.
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To my knowledge they aren't any mental health professionals active on the site at the moment so I suppose I'll share my insights with you, as someone who has seen a good number of therapists in her life.
I think some problems can't be solved, and sometimes the best thing anyone can do, including a therapist, is just commiserate with the person.
Also, I imagine you weren't actually sitting in on these sessions, so you have no way of knowing if that was all that was actually said, or simply all that your cousin heard. If she dismissed possible solutions out of hand or simply refused to brainstorm solutions on her own, she might have come away feelings as though the therapist had done nothing but sympathize with her when they had in fact tried to do a great deal more and she hadn't been receptive.
In the end though, if your cousin isn't comfortable with her therapist and isn't feeling supported, she should obviously look for another one. There are quite a few out there and sometimes it does simply come down to a personality clash. Most therapists, if you tell them it simply isnâ??t working for you, will gladly give you recommendations of others who they think you might jive with better.
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