|
Think positive or negative?
I'm someone who thinks a lot and when I think a lot, I tend to think negative. A lot of people have told me to stop thinking too much and being negative but I just can't. I think the idea of thinking positive is stupid because it is like a kind of self-denial. I'm pessimistic because I wanna prepare myself for the worst should the worst hit me.
Say for example if I know I screwed up my test paper, I can't possibly tell myself oh ya I'm gonna do well. When I get a really bad haircut, I can't think of anything positive about it. When I pick my classes for school, I always think of the negative, like what if my classes suck? What if the teachers are gonna pile us with homework? I tried talking to my parents but they say they don't wanna talk to me because I keep thinking about things that are not going to happen or things that haven't even happen. I don't wanna bug my friends with this problem because I have told them about it b4.
Sometimes, the pressure of being pessimistic takes its toll on me and I break down everytime. I wanna this stress to stop and yet I don't wanna be unprepared for the worst.
I have no one to turn to. My friends and family has already given me loads of advice but I can't seem to apply it. I really can't change my mode of thinking. I don't wanna delude myself of reality and yet I don't wanna live in self denial by being optimistic.
I find that you are like a sceptic, like me. And I find that you are somewhat similar to me in terms of thinking too much. I hope that's not offensive. I really need advice.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Sorry it took me a couple of days to respond - you ask tough questions!
To my mind, there is a difference between acknowledging the negative and dwelling on it. To live in a state of perpetual optimism is delusional - however, it is equally delusional to live in a state of total negativity. Simple logic tells us that sometimes, things DO in fact go right, we get lucky breaks, and the coin comes up heads. One who assumes everything will go right is living in a fantasy world, but one who assumes everything will go wrong is living there too.
It's fine and good to prepare for the worst. Stock canned food and flashlights in case of a power failure, pay attention to where the emergency exits are, and keep a spare tire in your trunk - these are all good ideas, and examples of why you should consider the negative possibilities. Having thus prepared yourself, it is now time to approach the situation on a POSITIVE note; after all, you are now prepared, and if the worst does happen you will be able to deal with it. This change in attitude is easier said than done, of course. It might help if, when you prepare as well as you can for potential problems, you then consciously say to yourself: "I have done what is necessary; whether things go right or wrong, I can now deal with it."
That, I think, may be the root of your unbreakable pessimism - the idea that if the worst should happen, you will not in fact be able to surmount it. One way you may be able to change this mode of thinking is to attempt very difficult tasks which maybe you don't feel like you can do, and then put your all into succeeding. Choose things at first that don't have major consequences, like crossword puzzles or something. Then, as you gain confidence in your ability to beat the odds, move on into things with actual consequences:
Train for and run in a footrace, like a 5K or 10K run for charity.
Take on a difficult class in school.
Ask out the girl you've had your eye on (or boy, I don't know your gender or orientation).
Eventually, try something really major. My own attitude for my teen years was similarly pessimistic and negative, and the thing that really turned it around was when I took advantage of an opportunity to live and work in Antarctica for six months. Being able to do that and see it through taught me that it was possible for things to turn out well, and that I was capable of tackling very difficult tasks. It was something that had to be experienced before I could get it through my head, though, and it's a lesson I must continuously re-learn - but now that I have a five-year-old, I get new opportunities all the time. :)
In a nutshell, words and advice aren't likely to help you. Action and real experience will. Essentially, you need to just make up your mind that you're willing to take some chances, hedge your bets by preparing for whatever you can foresee, and taking the plunge.
]
More Questions: |