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my friends best friend hates me.
Roxy and Lela are best friends. Im new at the school and Roxy was helping me to find my feet in the real world. We went to a party and all the guys started hitting on me. I told Kyle to stuff off because Lela liked him. But he didnt. Through out the night Lela started saying that she hated me and that I was just a pain. Roxy feels like she is trapped in the middle and i dont want her to be. What can I do so that I can still be friends with Roxy but she doesnt feel like she is constantly stuck in the middle? I feel compelled to mention that she was intoxicated and i was sober.
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It's great that you are sensitive to this issue and want to do something to improve the situation.
I would say that first of all you need to talk to Roxy, explain what happened and apologise for your part, (however innocent), in her feeling this way. Explain that you don't want to come between their friendship but that you value the friendship Roxy has shown you.
Then you need to talk to Lela. This will be the difficult one. Jealousy is not the easiest emotion to deal with and that is what Lela is suffering from. A guy she liked, and others, prefered you, the new girl. You need to make her feel better about this.
Depending on what she is like, you could start by apologising to her, maybe keeping it light, saying that it's only because you're new and that they'll soon get used to you and get a sense of proportion.
If Kyle continues to hang around you, try telling him to go away in the sight and/or hearing of Lela, so that she understands that you are not encouraging him.
Ask Roxy for any tips on making Lela feel better as she's known her longer. She may also be jealous of the possibility losing her friendship with Roxy to you. So you could try asking for Lela's help or advice on some things, even if you don't take it. Making her feel more a part of things and wanted, could help her feel better.
I don't think alcohol would have too much to do with what happened, only that it does tend to loosen tongues, enabling things to be said that wouldn't normally.
However, at the end of it all, you appear to have done nothing wrong. Some people are just of a jealous nature, usually from a sense of low self worth, and there's really not much you can do about that one.
As long as you feel you have done all you can to rectify things, try to let it go and accept that there are always going to be people that are not going to like you. There will be plenty more that will, concentrate on them.
Hope that helps and good luck.
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