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College and family problems


Question Posted Monday December 4 2006, 9:22 pm

I recently was diagnosed with clinical depression.
I've had depression for years, but never sought out help for it.
I just started college in September, but things just kept getting worse for me.
I found a counselor over here on campus and she thought that my idea of going back home and coming back next year would be a great idea for me.
I could get used to anti-depressants (which I haven't been able to start yet, I don't have a doctor over here) and also so I could work out my problems.

My big problem is that I don't feel like I am being supported by anyone but my boyfriend and my 3 best friends.
My mom, dad and sister keep saying like a broken record that they want me to stay over here (I go to Central Washington University in Ellensburg, WA, but I live in Auburn normally)

I already made the plans a while ago that I am coming back over there, and that I am going to go to a community college and not feel so guilty about spending my dad's money while I am confused and unsure of what I want to do with my life.
They just don't understand that the more I am over here, the worse I feel.
I feel horrible about myself, I feel horrible because my dad keeps complaining about how much money he spends on each of us kids, and that I just can't handle it over here right now.

I've explained to them all many times why I want to come back and why I am coming back, but it's like it goes in one ear and out the next.
I feel like I need to go out and live on my own because they all make me feel so horrible about leaving here that I just get worse in my depression but I don't have a job yet, and to get over there, I have to get a ride from one of them because I was in a car accident a short while ago so I don't have a car.
I am so tired of feeling bad but they don't hear me.
Any advice on what I should do?
Thank you all ahead of time.


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Flannl_bxrs answered Tuesday December 12 2006, 11:09 pm:
You poor thing! One of my best friends from college suffered from clinical depression as well. Your support system is obviously with your boyfriend and your best friends, so rely heavily on them. I would also have to disagree with your councellor, if you "take a year off" of school it's more than likely the case that you won't go back. Spend time with people that you enjoy being around, take up a random cool class and a couple of fun hobbies (I find that cooking is a huge stress reliever) and start to enjoy life. You're in college, the best years of your life! Maybe consider a sorority? When I was in a fraternity, my problems were their problems. Friends are your best safety net. If you need a job, consider being a waitress or bartender. Normally those positions have flexible hours and really good money. Best of luck to you!

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pootietang answered Tuesday December 5 2006, 12:31 am:
I think that it is a wonderful idea for you to go back home and take classes at a community college. This will most definitely help you with your depression. Here's why.

Typically, anxiety has something to do with depression, so it could be that you are also experiencing stress. Well, in general, the classes at community colleges are easier academically, mainly because people with poor high school grades end up going there. So maybe having lower academic expectations and a lighter load will help you relax more. It will also help your dad out financially, which I'm sure will make him happy. You should also look into scholarships.

Your parents have to realize that depression affects everything. I've been depressed, too, and it really had an impact on everything, including my social life, religious beliefs, and schoolwork. You should not let them make you feel guilty. You are actually helping them out by saving them lots of money. And you're helping yourself out by being with family, which to me always helps through the hard times.

It is completely normal for you not to know what you want to do with your life. You're a freshman in college. You are not supposed to have your whole life and career planned out yet. This is why you take general education classes (math, science, English, history, etc.)--to help you decide what interests you. Also, if you are still unsure of what you want to major in in college, there are degrees in General Studies, Liberal Arts & Sciences, and Interdisciplinary Studies that don't concentrate on one specific area. So 2 years from now, you still have options if you're unsure or confused.

About the whole getting a ride home, you could ask a relative for a plane ticket home for a holiday gift, couldn't you? Or you could ask your parents for them to pick you up in place of a present. There's always the option of taking a bus, but buses can be dangerous.

I hope I helped. You are not alone. 60% of Americans have been depressed before. I wish you good luck. =]

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