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GRRR....=\
there is this guy that i think i like (he treats me how i wanted to be treated).but i also heard rumors in school about him that he cheated on his ex girlfriend in the past. I asked him about it and he told me that he did and that was because he hated his girlfriend. He says he likes me and always wants to hang out but i always tell him he cant come over and i cant leave my house. I tell him that because im the kind of girl who gets attached to easy to everything. i wanna hang out with him and be with him but im scared because of the rumors. we talk all the time on the phone and he tells me all kinds of sweet things that makes me smile thats what makes me like him. What if we do go out and he leaves for Oklahoma n January? What am i going to do without him? and no i hate long distance relationships.
well my questions are..
1)should i believe the rumors?
2)how can i hang out with him without getting attached?
3)if he leaves and we are together how could i handle that? or should i even go out with him?
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[Edit: Trust me, I have plenty of long-distance friendships and and they've been lasting for a year or more. They're only going to fade if you and your friend LET it fade. And I don't think you guys'd want it to fade, would you?]
1) Well usually rumors are just a bunch of rumors that people made up just to get some gossip started, but at least he told you the truth and he admitted to you that the rumors were indeed true. Which even though cheating is a bad thing obviously, it's good he told you the truth and was so honest with you about it and owned up to his faults. I also don't think you'd have to worry about him cheating on you or anything, because it seems to me like he really really likes you and wouldn't want to ruin things and hurt you like that. Remember, he HATED his ex-girlfriend.
2) Well there's really no way of hanging out with him without getting attached ; he's your boyfriend, you're supposed to get attached to him. Don't hide your feelings and remain distant from him ; that'll give him signs you're no longer intersted in him and that's just unhealthy to the relationship between you guys. The most I can just suggest to you is to keep most of your conversation time and everything either over the phone then or on instant message and whenever you guys are going to hang out, hang out with your friends so it's not just you two alone whereas you guys could kiss more and flirt more and whatnot and develop more & stronger feelings.
3) My friend's going through the same thing right now. Her and her boyfriend just started dating like, a month ago and he's going to be moving all the way out to California in a month. And she's all worried also about what's going to happen, but they talked about it and they just want to enjoy eachother's company and cherish the time together they have now instead of just sitting here with the time they have left liking eachother, but not dating eachother. Just enjoy the time left you guys have together and then you can look back on him later in life as a great time and a great boyfriend. You never know what he might teach you.
It's going to hurt, yes, whenever he leaves but like I said, just think of all the great times you had with him, and all the things he taught you, adn all the things you taught him, and just keep that with you until the next boyfriend comes along. Believe me, there's plenty of other fish in teh sea, and even though you two won't be dating any longer and don't want to do the long-distance thing, you guys could still communicate and be friends, so it's not like you guys'd be totally losing eachother. Cause don't you think it'd hurt more to be liking this guy all this time, knowing he likes you back and nothing ever happening, and then he moves, and you'll always be wondering the big "what if?" and you'll never ever get to find out? I think it would.
I hope I helped.
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Ok well first off, rumors are rumors, and you said he owned up to them so hes not lying about cheating on his girlfriend. I would be really paranoyed if i had a boyfriend that cheated on a girl in the past. and for what i know, if you like him, the more your around him will just make you like him more. For example, I like this guy in one of my classes and when i see him i just start liking him more and more. I think IM and the phone are your best bet. or hanging out in groups of friends could keep you from getting as attached then you would if it were just you and him. Its hard when a boyfriend leaves and your still dating. Its not that long distance relationships dont work out, its just theres so much stress that goes into them. People get paranoyed, they start missing their boyfriend/girlfriend and feel really lonely and theres nothing they can do about it so they feel helpless. It really all depends on you, if he likes you and you like him you can probably give it a shot and then hanging out wouldnt be a problem. but like i said, him leaving would be really hard. It all matters on how much pain you can handle. The pain of not knowing what would happen, or the pain of knowing and something bad happening, like cheating or moving away. But if i were you, I would take the risk, a broken heart almost always heals. good luck!
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