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lovee <3
im secretly in love with my bestfriend [thats a guy] yeah i know this is starting off like every other question, but my situation is different. my bestfriend ellen is going out with my best guy friend, alec. and i like alec. ellen told me that she wants to break up with alec, evene though she still likes him, she thinks he likes my other friend randi, now let me tell you about randi, shes a poser, shes annoying, and thinks alec's her bestfriend, but alec absolutly HATES her, so idk why ellen thinks he likes her. even if randi trys to flirt with him 24/7. well i told ellen the pros and cons to breaking up with him. is it bad that i kinda want them to break up? even though i dont really want them to, because all i want is for ellen to be happy, but she isnt happy right now she feals the relationship is going downhill. even though if they break up, i know alec probly wont like me, he will still like ellen or his ex chelsea. what should i tell ellen about alec? is it wrong that i kinda want them to break up, even though i dont want them to? how can i get him to notice me, if they break up, and not think of me as 'the bestfriend'? alec's guy bestfriend told randi that he liked me, like 3 months ago. but he asked ellen out. idk i feal bad that i want them to break up though, even if i want my friends to all be happy, help? :]]
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okay, well your story is very confusing, and difficult from your point of view so i can understand why you would need advice for this.. but anyways,
my advice to you is not to but in with alec and ellens problems because even if you dont notice this, because you like him, you will somehow persuade her to break-up with him, and when that happens and ellen finds out you like alec (which will happen.. it always does)then she will get mad because she will know that you wanted them to break-up.
and, about alec likeing you like 3 months ago, leave it alone, it was 3 months ago. and he is going out with your best friend.
just when ellen asks you if you think alec likes randi say no, and let her know that randi likes him but he doesnt have the same feelings, and thats all.
i know this is gonna sound a little mean, but you cant be selfish in this situation, no matter how much you want to be. and no matter how much you like alec. try to put your feelings aside, and let their problems work themselves out.
And, If, by chance, they do end up breaking-up then wait a little while and talk to ellen about it and tell her that you like alec, and see how she feels about the situation (of you likeing him) and if shes okay with it, then you can start talking to alec about it. But, be subtle (if) when this happens, you dont wanna seem to clingy or desperate to alec.
i hope i helped..
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Wow, you seem really confused. But thats okay we all feel that way once in a while.
As far as the wanting them to stay together. That's good, you want whats best for your friend, but you can't tell her the pros and cons, because those are your pros and cons, not neccisarily hers. She is the only one who can make the decision.
As far as wanting them to break up, thats okay. That's natural. Theres nothing wrong with it. And I'm glad that you realize that just becaus etheres a chance that they break up, it doesnt mean that he will automatically go out with you.
As far as Alec likeing(or not liking) Randi/ Randi Likeing Alec, they are entitled to feel hoe they want about each other, you have to think, Randi may feel exactly the same way about Alec as you do. Think about that for a second.
So how do we get you to move on? Well first, you need to find out whats going on with Alec and Ellen. If they break up, then you shoudl tell her that you like him, but you arent going to go for it, you are jsut going to tell him how you feel, then, Bet you can guess, you are going to tell him how you feel. I know that sounds like horrible advice, but the best way to move on is to admit whats going on and come to terms with the situation. If you don't let him tel you how he feels then you can't move on, because you will still have that feeling in the back of your mind telling you that there is possibility, and untill that is completely gone, you will feel the same way as you do now, and we want to work to get you over that.
We all have to go through situations similar to this at some point in our lives. They arent fun, but they are a part of growing up. I hope I helped answer your qustion, but I anything else is unclear, just ask. Good luck, lots of love,
Angie91
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