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ex is not stepping up
I just got back together with my ex. He's the only guy I've ever loved & we have so many memories together. The problem is, he's not acting the way he did before when he was my boyfriend. Our relationship back then was the kind people are jealous of, but now it seems like he doesn't want it to be as serious. He barely calls and comes to see me, but I stand my ground and act like I don't care. He's the one that was begging for me back! I don't even know if I call this a relationship, but I want to confront him & ask what's going on. How should I go about doing this? (18/f)
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Is he trying to be distant to be in control of the relationship? Maybe this is his way of saying he is insecure about getting back with you. Did you break it off or did he the first time? Are you allowing yourself to be just a booty call? I don't think that standing your ground includes acting like you don't care, when you really do. That is not going to get you anywhere. Talk to him about your feelings, and if he is a jerk about it, then this could have been a mistake.
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You do have to confront him. For one, if he were begging for you to take him back, he should step up and prove that he really missed you and wants to be with you for real.
My guess would be that for some reason he may have been with someone else and it possibly didn't work out? I don't know if you knew the real reasons why he broke it off in the first place, but you never know. Maybe he got a little bored with not having a girlfriend so he took you back to possibly gain something more in his life. He could have felt empty without a girlfriend since he was with you for a while and shared all of those memories.
I know that sounds harsh, but you kind of have to consider your possibilities in the matter.
About confronting him: The next time you see him, tell him everything. Don't dance around the truth. Be flat out honest and tell him you feel that he's not acting very serious for all of that begging and pleading he did to get you back. Jusy start out as, "I feel that we have to talk about something that's making me feel upset, so it's really important that you tell me the truth because I'm telling you he truth.." and then proceed from there.
-TheTeenGirl
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You might have been nothing more than an easy option for him, when he didn't have anyone else to be in a relationship with. Its unfortunate that so many people do this, and ex's are simply nothing more than a convenient option.
Just ask him, straight up, if he wants a relationship or not. If he does and he's serious, he should man up and spend some time with you (make sure you mention to him your complaints). Otherwise, he'll probably feel that you are asking for too much and break it off, especially if he is thinking of you as nothing more than an easy hook-up. And, if he's the indecisive type and tries to play the middle ground, just break up with him.
There are a ton of good guys out there, getting back together with an ex and playing these kind of games doesn't do you any good.
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Break up with him.. he isn't worth it! Your better off just finding a guy who is going to treat you right. My ex and I got back together for a second time and it didn't work out and we figured that we were much better as friends.
-Bess
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