|
He wont ask me out because we have different religions!!!
UGH
Okay so I'm 15/f and there's this guy (duh isn't there always?) and hes mormon and I'm Jewish. He's 16 though so hes allowed to date now. I know he likes me; he told me so. He said he can't ask me out because of his parents and that hes only supposed to date in the church. However, we were hanging out when all of the happened and after he said that and during we was just holding me in his arms (which I fit into perfectly by the way).
It kind of tears me up inside because it feels like we have something special and I realize I'm only 15 and am not in love or anything like that, but I can see a future with him probably a lot because of his religous principles. Like he won't cheat on me or anything.
Anyways I dont really have a specific question or anything but I would really like to know how to handle this!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
His parents may have told him that he's only allowed to date within the church, but that's their call - the Mormon religion has no such restriction. Actually, the church ENCOURAGES dating those who are not Mormon, the purpose being to convert them.
It may be that the guy's parents don't want their son to have to do that, and so they see to it that it doesn't come up. They may also feel that only those within the church are "worthy" of dating their son.
Frankly, I'd pass on him if I were you. Not because of his religion, but because of his parents. If you date him, they will never give you an even break. I suggest you put the idea of dating him out of your head, find someone else whose arms you fit into perfectly, and let him date a nice Mormon girl.
And just so you know, belonging to any given religion does not make a person inherently good or bad. There are many truly evil people who say their prayers every night, and lots of very decent people who only go to church for weddings and funerals.
]
Oi vey...
1. Be careful with the thought: "I know he likes me; he told me so". Just because someone says they like you doesn't mean you can take it to the bank as fact. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. President Clinton told the media he wasn't having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky, and we know how all that turned out. If it was that easy, I would write a letter and tell Angelina Jolie that I loved her, and to get rid of that Brad Pitt guy.
2. If he cannot commit to you for whatever reason (parents, church, blah blah blah), then I would recommend moving on. It may sound harsh, but if he says he cannot even ask you out, I would assume anything more is out of the question entirely. Becoming MORE involved with this guy could very possibly cause you even MORE hurt and pain in the long run. I say cut your losses now.
3. Its easy to become comfortable with whoever you are currently with; its also easy to fall in love with the idea of 'fitting perfectly' with someone. In my experience, unless you only ever date or love a single person, eventually you will find others that will hold you in their arms (and you will fit perfectly into those arms, as well).
4. He cannot, or will not, ask you out due to his situation, as per religion. Yet, you say you can see a future with him 'probably a lot' because this must mean he wont cheat on you. Well, IMO you could date Atheists or Wiccans and not be cheated on any more than by a Mormon...and the difference here is that he cant even ask you out in the first place. I guess what I am trying to say here, is that I don't understand how you can see a future with him based on how devout he is, when this is what is possibly keeping him from asking you out in the first place.
5. I'd suggest not worrying over this guy, it might not be meant to be. Either keep your eyes open for someone of your religion if being devout is important to you, or dont be picky about religion per se and hope that they will feel the same way.
6. Would you convert for him? Would he convert for you? If one, or both, of the answers are 'NO', then "Houston, we have a problem". If you are unwilling to convert for someone else, then you REALLY should be looking for someone else who is Jewish. I know this might sound a little too intense at 15, but if you are going to start dating then its time to take these things into account. Once someone falls in love, or once someone gets pregnant, its too late. And trust me, things can change in a hurry too.
GL in any event, I hope things work out for you.
]
More Questions: |