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humorist-workshop
Not really sure what to put. It could have any subject real
<b>WARNING:</b> this isn't really written like a question, more as a journal but I'd really like advice on some of the stuff on here.<br><br>
Went to a football game [i'm in band] half time sucked. We lost the game. My Mom's bitching at me because my Grandma called me a bitch. [don't ask me for the rest of the story i've already told it to xenia, ashley, and a few other people and i don't feel like repeating it again] I'm starving. My Mom wouldn't take me to Applebee's where pretty much the whole entire band goes after games. She's like your Grandma was yelling about blah blah blah blah blah blah blah for the last thirty minutes. I shouldn't reward you blah blah blah. and you can't get a new phone. That pisses me off cause she PROMISED me that no matter what as soon as Verizon would allow me to get a new phone that I could. Then she keeps screaming. Guh I fucking hate my family. Grandma wants an apology for me throwing water on her after she called me a bitch. Uh no. If she apologizes for calling me a bitch fine she'll get an apology but until then I don't care she's not getting one. Plus she's not my blood relative anyway, yeah that's really mean but I really don't care she called me a bitch for no fucking reason and that really pisses me off. I've been really depressed for like the last year, and I don't know or understand why. I've also been very angry lately and emotional. Plus I haven't started my period for four months [and no i'm not pregnant i'm a virgin so stfu] I wanna punch someones face in but at the same time I just want to sit in a corner and cry. Guh I hate this. I really don't have very many friends at school because I don't know who I can and can't trust. Plus people at school are just way to immature. I think that's why alot of my friends on LJ are in their twenties. I get along better with slightly older people. They seem to understand me better. Other than family and stuff most adults seem to understand. But I don't know. I seriously think I'm having a slow mental breakdown. I'd try getting a therapist but I don't know what that will do. I feel like I'm slowly slipping away from God and my friends. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't even know who I am. My Dad doesn't even care. If he did he'd move to Florida. I don't like my band teacher, yet I feel like I can trust her more than family. I feel as if no one likes me. and I can tell the people in band don't. I try so hard for people to like me but I'm not going to try to be just like them or be anyone else. I'd try to just be myself but I don't even know who I am anymore. If I could even be the person I was when I met Augustus I'd be happy. But partly through that relationship I changed. I became angry and depressed. That's partialy why he broke up with me. I wish I knew what happened and I wish I could change it. There's so much more I want to say but I doubt many of you will even read and/or care.
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Short answer? You probably have depresson. Even if you're sometimes bubbling over with joy, you can still have manic depression. I'd recommend seeing a doctor about this and getting properly diagnosed, since teenage advice givers cannot diagnose mental illness, especially over the internet.
YOur grandmother is probably owed an apology. C'mon, shes your GRANDMA. She was wrong in calling you a bitch, but maybe she thought you deserved it. Talk it out.
Now that I've re-read your question a little, this seems to be the problem here. Not a lack of communication, but a lack of EFFECTIVE communication. Arguing gets nothing done and only makes problems bigger. Try REALLY hard to have a meaningful conversation with your mom and/or dad (it may be easier seperately) and you'll get a spurprisg amount of stuff worked out. YOu're probably thinking, Yeah right me talk to my parents, but it's easier than you might think. Walk into the room, focusing on nothign else than discussing (NOT ARGUING ABOUT!!) a current issue. Like, "Mom, I'd like to talk about why I can't upgrade my cell phone. Maybe we can compromise- if I apologize to Grandma and wait six weeks as "punishment", could we go get a new phone? You can set a price limit of [insert dollar amount you expect her to shell out for a new cell here] and I promise to pay you if I ever go over ____ minutes every month" (Obviously, let her talk in between!)
As for wanting to sit in the corner and cry, it's normal to feel like that once in awhile. Let it all out and you'll feel better, trust me.
hope I helped, and let me know how everything turns out!
♥ :]
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