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advice?
So....i think me and my boyfriend have had sex probably over one hundred times. but i have never orgasimed...i need to orgasim...hes not bad! at all, but i dont know what it is...advice, how can i not put all the pressure on him, cuz i kno he feels bad.
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The advice already provided is excellent. I just wanted to add that actually, not all women are able to achieve orgasm through penetration alone. The media makes us believe that as long as a guy is good in bed, we can all achieve mind blowing orgasms through sex alone. In truth, only around 33% of women can.
It might be that you are one of these people but the best thing you can do is to keep trying to work out what feels best for you. The G-Spot is something most women associate with orgasms so locate yours and try to incorporate stimulation of this area when having sex. It should be around the size of a 20p piece when you are aroused and is about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the top of the cervix. Some women find it very pleasurable to have this area stimulated, some find it makes them need to urinate and some find it has no effect at all.
Please, please don't put too much pressure on yourself to climax, because this will only make it harder and will put a strain on the relationship. Sex should never be about the result. It should be about the connection between two people. Work on that for now and if the orgasm happens, it happens. If it doesn't, hopefully you will both realise that it's natural and bears no reflection on the performance of either party.
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All I have to say is like the person below me said quantity does not equal quality. ♥
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The best advice I can give you is to relax and not think about having an orgasm. Enjoy yourself and try not to focus on anything else. If this doesn't work, try having him play with your clitoris while having sex. It will stimulate you more which makes you more likely to reach the big O. In my opinion, the best position to reach an orgasm, is when the girl is on the bottom with both of her legs around the guys neck. It's a little uncomfortable, but it feels AMAZING! So give it a try. And as for him having all the pressure, make sure he knows he's doing a good job, and he should feel better.
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First, quantity does not equal quality.
Second, try to communicate with him and guide him. Trust me when I say this, guys wont have to worry about having orgasms usually, but you will - heck many men have an orgasm before the woman is even fully aroused. And of course, men are NOT mind readers...men are not born with ANY type of knowledge of what is needed for a woman in this regard other than the most primal urge to mate. Instinct is only concerned with survival and the passing of genetic material...a womans needs come second (oh my, if you have ever read Dawkins...lol).
You might want to mention to him as well that this isn't abnormal, hopefully he isn't under the misconception that he needs to be some kind of Superman. Once a man gets it through his thick head that he may need to change his M.O. for his partner, things get much better (and I am a man saying this).
Its a good sign that he feels bad, it shows he cares for you. Its a bad sign IMO however if after 100 supposed encounters he is still somewhat clueless. But caring and clueless you can work with, it isn't a lost cause! If YOU know what is needed, tell him. If you dont know either...well, I cannot help much than to say you may need to broaden your horizens a bit. Thats all I am going to say though as I am trying very hard to keep this from being explicit.
But talking with your BF is a start, get to that step and give it a while. Communicate, seriously, PLEASE for the love of all that is Holy, dont expect men to just 'know' or you are going to be in for a lot of disappointment.
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