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Alexis
Alexis is a very good friend of mine, however she's horrible unself-confident. She tells me all the time she wants a boyfriend like mine or a body like mine and it makes me very uncomfortable. She always complains shes ugly, fat, and she can't get a boyfriend.
She CONSTANTLY asks me if her outfit is cute, if she needs more makeup, or even if her hair is bad. It's starting to bug me, how do I tell her to stop?
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Oh dear. It sounds as though your friend is suffering from a bad case of low self esteem. Unfortunately, because the problem isn't actually with you, but with her, there isn't a lot that you can do or say that can keep her from comparing herself to you.
However, what you can do is have a chat with her about her lack of self confidence and self esteem. Clearly it's a problem and it does need to be sorted, so talk to her about it and see if there are any ways you can help her to help herself.
Try explaining to her that she seems to not think very much of herself and it is upsetting to yo because you can't understand why she feels that way. Tell her that you care about her and want to help but she needs to do something about it because if she thinks she can't get a boyfriend or is overweight or unattractive but doesn't do anything about it, it just isn't going to get better. Try to phrase this in a way that doesn't imply you agree she needs to change, as any implication along this line will make things worse.
Try to suss out what the problems are and help her think of ways to fix them. If she thinks she's ugly, offer to do her a makeover, or book a free makeover at a local store. If she thinks she is overweight, help her stick to a healthy eating and exercise plan. The boyfriend will come in time but she needs to get some self confidence back. The chances are, if she truly is overweight, losing some of it might help restore some of her confidence but it's more than that. She needs to feel comfortable in her own skin, so perhaps taking up a hobby like drama would help. Something she could be good at and that builds confidence at the same time.
I know it can be irritating but be gentle with her. If she feels bad about herself, getting mad will make it worse so try to help her and reason with her. Then, if none of that works, have a serious talk with her and explain that if she isn't prepared to help herself, she has no justifiable reason to spend so much time complaining and being unhappy about it. I know that sounds harsh, hence why it is ONLY to be used as a last resort. Try to help her first. As long as she is willing to give it a try, there's no reason it shouldn't help.
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