|
umm.
how do you know when you're about to umm...arrive sexually? is it something obvious? i'm a virgin, so i wouldnt know or not. i just want to be prepared.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
One of the necessary steps to take before you're ready to have sex is to feel comfortable talking about it, which you obviously are not. You seem to "speak" with hesitation and uncertainty even in an anonymous forum, so I tend to think you probably couldn't talk about it openly to a potential partner.
And you need to be able to do that, because you have to settle matters like birth control and STD protection. You need to be able to say "no" to something that doesn't feel right, and you need to know that your partner will stop if you want to stop. Without direct and open communication, you won't be able to have that confidence.
Here's a way to know if you're ready: Are you prepared to deal with the consequences if your birth control fails? It can happen, even if you do everything right, and you shouldn't take the leap until and unless you can handle that possibility.
Also, consider your reasons for doing it before you have sex. If you're doing it for any of the following reasons, wait for a better reason to come along:
- Everyone else is doing it. (with the exception of breathing, this is a pretty bad reason to do anything)
- I just want to get it over with. (this is the proper attitude to approach a dental appointment, not sex)
- My boyfriend/girlfriend will leave me if I don't. (Don't be pressured. If you want to be attractive and desireable, acting like a doormat is not a good way to do it.)
- I can't control my hormones. (If you can't control yourself, you're not mature enough to have sex, and neither is anyone else who uses this line on you as a pressure tactic.)
- I don't want to be a 40-year-old virgin. (You're probably not even halfway to 40 yet. This is not an immediate concern!)
- Just once, I want to do something totally crazy. (Try bunjee jumping. It has fewer long-term consequences.)
Remember this: If you are not ready, there is no shame in that. There will be time, and it's better to wait and have a wonderful experience than it is to rush and have a painful memory.
]
If you mean "do you know when you are ready to have sex?" then if you ask the question you definitely are not ready.
Everyone reaches that stage in their life at different times so no two people are ever the same.
When you are in a steady relationship and have discussed contraception and STDs etc., then you are on the way there. It is not something you should take lightly either - when you lose your virginity it is not something that you can ever get back.
You need to feel safe, secure, loved, wanted and prepared before going that step further. When you get to the stage of not questioning whether it is the right time/place/boyfriend etc., then you are ready.
I hope that this is of some help to you. All the best.
]
More Questions: |