Question Posted Wednesday August 30 2006, 11:45 pm
My boyfriend and I have cyber sex. Is it possible to pour out our sexual feelings online through a computer and not getting totally horny around each other? I mean, we want to stay virgins until we're married. So is cyber sex helping us with the temptation, or making it worse? Is it ok to have cyber sex or is it immoral and wrong? What would my parents think? I'm afraid they won't understand if they find out... Thanks for the advice!
For some people I suppose it might decrease the temptations, but I would think for most it would only increase them. Cyber sex is giving you a sexual vocabulary of actions and words that pump your own fantasies, gives them more substance and basically function as dress rehearsals. In my experience that only increases sexual interest, never decreases it, and in essence, you aren't really staying 'pure' for marriage, you are engaging in sexual contact with another person, it just happens not to be physical.
Secondly, cyber sex is a fantasy. Nothing ever gets stuck in cyber sex, nothing hurts, and no one ever falls off the couch. In reality those things do happen. Too much fantasy can make reality disappointing and difficult to adjust too. People with pornography addictions can have that problem. I'm sure it happens to those who regularly engage in cyber sex too.
Your parents will be unhappy and wont like it if they find out. I'm sure you know that. Cyber sex wasn't around for their generation so they don't understand it, and of course parents simply don't want to be confronted with their child's sex life. So if you are going to keep doing it, do your best to keep it a secret.
I don't see anything wrong with cyber sex, so by all means if you want to keep doing it! But I don't think your logic here is very sound. You need to recognize what it is you are actually doing: It is sexual contact. It is sexualizing your relationship. And of course your parents wouldn't be happy with it. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
xAskkMechaBeccax answered Thursday August 31 2006, 9:32 am: It all depends on the person really. Cybering isnt the same as the real thing but it might help to not be so horny so often. I dont think it's immoral at all, just like masturbation. It's safe and can be entertaining.
Your parents might be iffy on the subject depending on how conservative they believe you should be and they did not have cybering back when they were younger. It can be sort of healthy in a way like masturbation. If she catches you, just tell her you cant get pregnant off of this kind of sex.
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.