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Hard To Trust People
I can't trust people. I have had a weird experience growing up, and I find it very difficult to trust people. It seems like everyone I get close to and trust hurts me very badly in the end. But lately it has been catching up to me and actually preventing friendships, because it hurts people's feelings when I don't trust them. My boyfriend tells me how much he cares about me and how he loves me, but I just don't believe it. I don't think he is lying, but I just can't trust him. What can I do to work on this?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Trusting is hard for some,
and easy for others.
I mean its something you need to work on,
even though your mind tells you not to beleive and trust someone, just do it.
Quit acting on the impulses to not trust.
I know its hard, but its worth a try.
And if all else fails, talk to a counsular, it helps a lot. Trust me, I do.
I dont have problems with trust, I have others, but just talking to someone who cant tell it to ANYOEN helps a lot.
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its good to be critical. just dont be open about if you dont have to be. in order to avoid hurt feelings.
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When we learn early on that we cannot trust those that are close to us, it is difficult to unlearn. Sometimes we even seek out people that are untrustworthy to validate our fears and worldview. You can overcome this, but it will take conscious effort and awareness on your part. Ask yourself who you can and cannot trust in your earliest family experiences. Could you trust parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, etc.? Who in your childhood could you not trust? Are you basing your current mistrusts on past emotions or rational evaluations of the people in your present life? Trust is earned. You do not have to trust everyone. It won't make you a bad or unreasonable person to take your time in deciding whether or not you can trust. You may not believe your boyfriend loves you, because you don't trust him to have the maturity to make that decision, or you may not believe it because you don't think you are lovable. You need to give yourself permission to protect yourself, but also to know that you don't have to give your whole self away to everyone that asks to be close to you. Maybe you feel like it is all or nothing. Either you have to throw caution to the wind and risk being hurt, or close down your emotions and shut people out completely. If you can't find a happy medium, then this is where you need to focus your energy. Start slowly, and trust in baby-steps, without going to one extreme or another. You don't owe anyone complete trust, but you will enjoy relationships more when you are able to trust.
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