HighlandAmy,
Long time reader, second time writer.
I feel awful. I feel so disgusted with myself, and I don't know what to do.
I love and respect my family but am terrified of them, I find myself spending all of my time (when I would rather be with the people who know and care for me) with jerks who could not care less if I was dead or alive.
I find that I put myself around these bad people when I'm feeling stressed or depressed and the irony is these people only magnify the feeling. Maybe I think it's safer to be around people who can't see me? Maybe I just am worthless?
A few months ago, I stopped taking my SSRI after an adition to my medication turned out to be a pharmacutical alergy of mine. My instinct is to CONSIDER going back on the original medication...
The thing is this, when I was taking an SSRI every day, I was still around bad people who did NOTHING positive for me. I like the way I feel now, without the brain drugs editing my feelings before I feel them. But I need to stop behaving the way I do and learn to talk to the people who matter to me. More to the point, I need to learn how to talk to the people that I matter to.
Would you say I should try the medication again?
Additional info, added Sunday August 6 2006, 1:28 am: Talking to my family about the way I feel when I get depressed is hard. More times than not I feel dismissed or misunderstood. How do I go about opening up a converstaion about it when I need their support?. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? HighlandAmy answered Sunday August 6 2006, 6:37 pm: No magic pill is going to help you make the right decision about who to spend your time with.
Honestly, I think more often than not, people use medications (like SSRIs) as a crutch, rather than do the work to make their lives better and themselves happier. The long and short of it is that you must make the choices every day to do what is right and good for you.
If someone constantly makes you feel bad, tell them (in no uncertain terms) that are not welcome to be part of your life.
You say talking to your family can be hard when you are depressed. The only way I can think of to start talking to them about it, is again, to be clear and say what you mean. Like: "I am feeling [blank], it would help me if you [blank]." But understand that they may not always be willing or able to do what you want them to do to help you.
The best kind of help is the kind you get from yourself. It's important to remind yourself, every day, that you are someone special who is worthy of being treated well. You don't have enough life to waste it on people who don't treat you as such! [ HighlandAmy's advice column | Ask HighlandAmy A Question ]
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