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my best mate gone off with a nother girl
dear Vikki27
My best mate a i had a fight at school over whos sheose they were mine or hers. At breack she came over and tried to say sorry, but i ignord her. Then at home i felt bad and called her up to say sorry but her mum said she was out with a girl from school Rosie!!!![ she had just stopped bulling me].
At school she was hanging around with her and when i came over to her she said she liked Rosie as a best mate and not me.
what do i do from
bumed out
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Hi there,
First of all, I'm really sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
The problem is that the arguments that cause the most problems are usually over the oddest of things, like this! Unfortunately, it means that they can be very difficult to resolve.
I think the issue over the shoes needs to be kicked out of the door for the minute, because the thing you sound most bothered about is your friend deciding to be best friends with the girl who was tormenting you.
I highly suspect that the main reason for this particular friendship is to make sure you feel jealous and hurt. After all, if you wanted to upset a friend after an argument, who would be more hurtful to befriend? A random girl or the person who made your ex best friend miserable? The good news of this is that it means she shouldn't be as close to this girl as she was to you.
The best thing you can do now is to swallow the whole lot and apologise again. Say you're sorry for the argument and it doesn't matter whose shoes they were because you miss being friends with her and that's more important. Whatever you do, stay away from the topic of this Rosie girl. If she's just friends with her to make you jealous, the worst thing you could do would be to mention her in any way. I know you won't want to hear this...but if she actually does want to be friends with Rosie, you can't say or do anything about it because anything you say will come across wrong. You can be friends with anyone you like, but you can never tell them who to be friends with because it is a surefire way to lose friends.
After you have apologised, see what she says. If she says she is sorry too and wants to be friends then all is well and good and hopefully things will go back to the way they were before. You have these little arguments so that you can eventually find ways to not have them as you get older. For example, should the same situation rise again, you just share them or you make sure neither of you have them or you go out and find another pair of shoes you like and split the cost 50/50 to even the score.
However, if she doesn't want to be friends yet, then effectively you have put the ball back in her court by apologising and after this, it is up to her. Just tell her you wanted to say you were sorry and if she doesn't want to accept your apology or still doesn't want to be friends then it's entirely up to her, but at least she knows where you stand. Then walk away and leave it to her.
Whatever happens, I assure you that there will be other friends and other best friends. Occasionally arguments like this will arise but if that dissolves the friendship then you have to ask yourself, was the friendship ever that strong in the first place if it couldn't survive a fight over something so small?
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