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confused and scared
This is sort of long (sorry), but I need help. I'm 16, male, and about to be a junior in high school. I have good grades (all A's and one B through high school in almost all advanced classes).
Every day this summer, I have woken up and gone to sleep thinking about one thing: my future. My future career, house, and family. I made up my mind that I don't really want kids, but I want to get married. I also don't mind if we have a one story home (as long as it isn't too small). But the career part just freaks me out.
It started last semester at school. I signed up for my first AP class, thinking that it would be just like an honors class. I was wrong. I cried and had panic attacks every other night for about 2 or 3 months because of the constant [and I truly mean constant] studying, reading, writing, and projects. The panic attacks were serious and prevented me from being able to work. I ended up getting a B, but it still completely depressed me. I resorted to therapy, which didn't help with the stress/anxiety.
So when I started thinking about careers, I thought "Well, college comes before most careers..." But then I thought, maybe I don't want to go to college. If college classes are anything like the AP class that I took, then I just don't want to go through that depression and anxiety. Ever since realizing that, I've been terrified of college and thinking of every job that I could get without attending college. Very little appeal to me, and the ones that do don't pay well. My older brother already graduated from college, and he didn't take one single advanced class in high school. He told me that college is easier than high school, but I find that hard to believe. I think he meant that it's easier because you don't have class daily.
So what do I do about my college/career future? Please don't say "If you don't go to college, you'll be poor. So you should go." I already know that, but please help..I'm scared. And if I do "try out" college and it's just like that AP class but worse, what do I do? Thank you!
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You need to calm down! If you don't enjoy and can't handle your ap class (and it doesn't sound as if you do) then switch to a regualr honors class. It is NOT that big of a deal. Yes, AP classes look good on a college application, but so do honors classes. It is WAY more important to do well (get good grades) in any class then to take a hard one and not do so well. College really isn't that big of a deal. More then 50% of people end up in careers that have absolutely nothing to do with their careers. Its a bad job market out there. You should look at college as something you want to persue for the educational value, not as a means to an end of getting a career. That is always nice of course, but you can't count on it. It's far more valuable ass a tool to learn about the world around you and become an educated adult. There is no reason whatsoever to stress about it this much. Just focus on the present- get good grades and participate in school activities now and the when it comes time to apply, just apply to a few and test out some majors to see what you like. As someone who has been through all that, it really isn't nearly worth all this stress. I know a lot of 30 years olds who have a career but are looking to change- it's all about just seeing what you like and then finding a way to get paid for it. It'll be FINE so don't stress about it! As far as your future family, and the like- stop even THINKING about that right now! I PROMISE you that the person you are at the age of 16..or even 21, isn't the person you will be at 25 or so. Only then, when you have fully established yourself as a person (it's a learning and growth process) can you even think about something as big as marriage and family. You might as well be stressing about retirement, it's that much of a jump for you right now. You will regret it so much if you don't stop focusing on the future and just enjoy the present. Since you have so much generalized anxiety, you really ought to keep seeing a doctor, because it isn't healthy. Try a different one and get meds. It sounds dramatic, but your problem isn't your future and the fact that you don't know what to do about it. Your problem is the fact that you feel you have to focus on it so much. Thats a genuine medical problem that a lot of people develop but you don't have to suffer through it, go to a doctor.
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In some respects college is easier than high school, mostly because of the lack of homework. What I suggest is this, sign up for a college class at a community college over the summer, most have two summer sessions, and you might not be too late to sign up for the second one. College really isnt for everyone, but you should definetely give it a try.
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