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sex life
i'm from hongkong;
male 28 yrs.
after two years of good merried life my wife told me that she slept with boyfriend during college days and was not virgin when got merried ,
however i was virgin before the wedding, i feel cheated ,and do not feel to love my wife any more ,please help?
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How have the last two years been? Did you love her before you found out?
If you think you no longer love your wife because she had a relationship before she met you I don't think your love can be that strong. You should love her despite what happened in the past, not fall out of love with her because of it. If you had had a relationship in college would you expect her to accept it?
There is absolutely no reason for you to feel cheated. She probably didn't tell you before because she was worried how you would react. It seems her fears have been justified.
Your wife is so much more than that incident. Think about why you married each other, has she changed?
If you are going to let this ruin your lives together you need to think long and hard about your next move. It's not as though this happened when you were already together. Accept the fact and move on. Life is too short to hold onto things like this.
Enjoy your lives together and make the most of each day. Forget the past and don't let it have a hold over you. There's nothing you can do about it now.
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your wife loves YOU. she married you not her boyfriends from college. she may have made a mistake that she was not proud of and was nervous about telling you. im sure she did not want to hurt you, she must have been emberassed because she did not tell you before the wedding. she is not sleeping with other people now, shes sleeping with you because shes inlove with you and because she loves you. its understandable that it makes you feel very hurt that she lied. but she lied because she was emberassed. show her the love that she married YOU for. this situation is hurting her knowing that she hurt you so bad.
talk to your wife about it. be honest about how you feel and how it hurt you and WHY it hurt you.
if you want to continue with your marriage tell her you want to stay married.. that this will not break you guys apart but TOGETHER you have to feel comfortable about the situation. im sure she will have alot to say so dont let it become a huge fight. if anyone starts to yell just stop the conversation there. it may take a few days or weeks to fully talk about what happened.
also remember all the great times you have had with her. the places you have been and the things you share together. just because you did not share the loss of your virginity together does not erase all the other wounderful things you both have done together and for eachother.
In a time of fighting make sure you remember reasons you love her for, and remind her that that is why you love her. and remind yourself how much you love her. dont let this fight ruin your relationship.
good luck, i hope everything turns out
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well dude... what you are feeling is very natural... i felt the same way when my girlfriend told me that she had been with her ex-boyfriend( not sex actually.. just removed the shirt) i felt the same way...
but n the other hand you wud have been really cheated if she had not actually told you that she had been with another guy. look it takes a lot of guts for a girl to confess such things and its even harder after marriage.. she must trust you a lot that she told you about it,
i think you must be feeling that it would have been better if she had gone all her life without telling you that... then u wud have had an internal satisfaction .. but she must be feeling really guilty for not telling you that ... i think she told you all that to improve your relationship and create some trust... not to mess up the whole thing..
and the part part about you being virgin .... i think virginity is not a dignity.. its lack of oppertunity.... u must know inside that if you had had a real good chance to have sex with some super model kind of girl before marriage then you would have gone for it without thinking twice... so same is with girls.... 98% of boys do have sex before marriage and the percentage of girl's is lesser but not equivalent to zero...
consider it as a mistake of adoloscence.... you got a very loving wife...
stay happy
bye.......
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