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orgasm
Hi. I've never had an orgasm. I mastubate and am with a steady bf. He's my 4th bf. I reckon if reaching orgasm is 10 then I can probably get to a 9 but never reach a 10! Its very anoyying. I don't like vibrators, they don't turn me on, I usually use a pillow, that is the most effective. I love my clitoris to be stimulated! But I never come! Why not? I'm mature enough, and feel safe in my relationship. What can I do?
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There are a few possibilities here:
1.) You aren't orgasming because of some physiological reason. The orgasm isn't so much a physical response as it's a physiological response. Experiment and do not give up! Keep stimulating yourself, in a variety of ways, until your wrist is sore and don't stop until it is uncomfortable. Not until you no longer enjoy it, because you might go through bursts while masturbating where it isn't really enjoyable. Keep going through these phases; do not stop until the stimulation is actually physically unpleasant. Remember the way you are thinking has a huge impact on your ability to orgasm, if you think "I'll never do this," or "this is a waste of time” you wont orgasm.
2.) Option number two is that you aren't orgasming because of some physical reason. Discuss the problem with your gyno. I'll add that this is rather unlikely and it's more likely that the problem is in your head, not your vagina, but it's worth looking into, just in case.
3.) Your standards are too high. What you call a nine might actually be an orgasm and you are simply being brainwashed by movies and erotica to believe that an orgasm is more then it is. (I know this might sound ridiculous, but please don't dismiss it out of hand. I believe this is probably your problem.)
Some women do orgasm, but don't know it. They think that what is happening to them is too tame to be an orgasm. It is important to concentrate on what you ARE feeling not what you aren’t. No matter if you are having an orgasm or not it is imperative that you stop comparing what you do feel to what you imagine you should feel. You are pressuring your body into conforming to a fantasy and anytime a person does that they are destined for disappointment.
Whatever you do, make sure to keep it fun and relaxed. Banish the annoyance and frustration you are experiencing. Focus on the sensation and feelings you do have. Make the goal of sex to enjoy yourself and feel good. Don’t worry about the anticipated orgasm. Stay upbeat and open-minded and it will happen when it happens, when it doesn’t, make sure you are having a good time anyways.
Good Luck hun.
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