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Best Friend and Ex-boyfriend that I haven't gotten over with
Hey. I'm 13 (soon to be 14), Female.
So, about a month before school ended (May 25, is the day I got out, if your wondering) I told my friend I liked this one kid. She knew who he was, and his name, and he was only in one of her classes.
Then about a few weeks after I told her about me having a crush on him, she texted me saying she like my crush too! To be honest, I was in shock. I didn't know what to do, I hate having to like the same guy my friends like too!
Then one of her and I's closest friend, called me up, and I told her how I felt about this whole "We like the same guy." kind of thing. She understood where I was coming from. So then my friend that likes the guy I like, called me up and told me that our closest friend told her what I said, and how I felt about it.
Honestly, I'm glad she did, I didn't know how else to tell her. She told me she would never date my crush, because she knows he means a lot to me, plus she said she doesn't like him anymore. I felt much better, and apologized to her for even thinking she would do such thing.
Anyways, on the last day of school, I told my crush I liked him for quite a while. Then the next day he told me he felt the same way for a while too and asked me out. I was the happiest girl, really. He told me what all other guys said, "I love you, you're the one I love, No one can replace you."
Blah, blah, blah. Honestly, I didn't really believe most of the things he told me, is that bad?
After a 2-week relationship, I knew there was something bugging him, I just didn't have the nerves to ask him what it was. I told my friend about it, and she tried to help me out, but i didn't know WHEN to break up with him since his birthday was coming up soon. Or if I was even SURE if the right thing to do was to break up with him.
(May I add, though this might be stupid, but we both have a MySpace, and the Top 8, he had me as first, now all of a sudden some other girl was his first, and I was his fourth!) I knew something was wrong.
I was going out of town to visit a very close friend of mine, and I told him that. And on that same day, he told my best friend to break up with me for him. So she called me up the next morning, telling me everything he told her to tell me. I was very heartbroken, but I didn't show it.
About a week later, after trying to get over him, he asks my best friend (the same girl he told her to break up with me) out. She totaly freaked out. She texted me telling me to call her ASAP. I got the text an hour late, and called right away. She told me, my-ex asked her out and she didn't know what to do. (On that same day two other guys asked her out before my ex did, she gave them a flat-out no. but I don't know why it was so hard for her to say no to my ex.)
I was crushed, i felt like breaking down in tears on the phone, but i didn't. The first thing in mind was "What did you say?," She told me she didn't answer his question yet, and she doesn't know what to do. I told her of what she said to me about 2 months ago from now of what she said.
She told me she doesn't want to say 'Yes' because she knows I would be upset and that i still liked him and that he recently broke up with me not too long ago,
And she doesn't want to say 'No' because she would feel bad because his birthday is coming up.
That same night, my ex called me up, asking me if I would be mad if they went out. I told him yes, cause first off he's my ex, and she's my best friend, and I know a true friend wouldn't do that. And i told him I still have feelings for him.
He told me he didn't want to ruin my best friend's and I friendship, then he told me that him & I were better off friends, but what confused me was, what is it that my best friend has that I don't? And why did he told me he felt the same way, and asked me out in the first place?
My friend doesn't really know him that well. She just knows that he was in her history class, his name, and that his birthday is coming up soon, and that he was my crush.
I don't know what to do, should I be happy if they DO go out? Should I try to get over him? Should I give my friend the silent treatment if she DOES go out with him? (BTW, I can be easily jealous, and I don't know, I just can't help it.)
I am incredibly, truly sorry this is very long.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't be sorry for the length of your question. I am more than happy to help.
Starting out with your best friend: She needs to tell him flat-out no whether it's Valentines day or Christmas. It's wrong to hold in an answer just because you're afraid of their reaction. She should be more afraid of hurting you than this guy. And right now it's hurting you because she can't even tell him no automatically like a best friend should. So tell her that it shouldn't matter if it's close to his birthday because he doesn't have to have a girlfriend on his birthday. He's a big boy, he'll get over it.
About this guy: You both had a two week relationship, so of course telling each other you love each other is not something you should believe after only two weeks. So no, it's not wrong to not believe him when he said that he loved you. Try not to say you love someone or let them tell you they love you until you are serious with a guy.
If he really was concerned about coming between you and your friend, then he would have never tried to be with your friend in the first place, so you should leave him out of this. The only way he will ever come between the two of you is if your friend ever gets with him. That is your friend's fault. This guy shouldn't matter at all.
About your last questions: 'I don't know what to do, should I be happy if they DO go out?' This all depends on your feelings, and you already said that if they were together you'd be upset and let me tell you that you've got ever right to be angry, depressed and upset about this.
'Should I try to get over him?' Absolutely. He's moving on and so should you. Getting over someone is a hard thing, but don't ever pressure yourself to get with someone else and get over him. This takes a lot of time.
'Should I give my friend the silent treatment if she DOES go out with him?' Not exactly. Yes, you will be mad and yes you have every right to be and yes she doesn't deserve to have you as a friend, BUT you can just be her friend instead of best friends. When she calls, let her know that you really don't want to hang out or talk. Yes, you can have a short conversation if you happen to see each other in public, but you can tell her no if she wants to do things you both used to do. Theres no doubt that you will miss the friendship you both had, but that' her fault if she made a bad choice and that gave her consequences.
Something tells me that she's not going to go for this guy. And she needs to listen to you. Tell her that you don't think the birthday excuse is good enough to put her answer on hold. It has to happen sometime!
If you have anymore questions, please let me know and be sure to remind me of your original question so that I'll know who you are!
-TheTeenGirl
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