|
BOY TROUBLE
Ok..my names emily and i'm a freshman...this past school year me and two other of my friends were at one of their houses. We had been talking to two of these really cute senior boys in our physical science class. They called us because they thought we were hott one night and asked us what we were doing. We told them we were about to get into the hot tub and so they said they were going to come over. We didn't think they would but they showed up. (bringing a very cute friend i had seen around but never talked to.) somehow we ended up on a trampoline making out. Well a couple months went by and i thought nothing of it. Until someone told me this guy had liked me. I didn't believe it at first until he told me one day that he did. We had to keep it a secret for about 3 months because he had a REALLY bad past relationship with this girl a while back and the police were involved.(she was crazy) so his mom didn't want him dating anybody. ESPECIALLY a freshman. So then when he finally told her...we were getting very intimate and close and he would do things like bring teddy bears to my house when i wasn't home and come to my window one night to say he loved me and surprise me. And whenever we hung out he would always say that we were getting married and all of these very romantic deep thoughtful things. Well the school year ended and we were two weeks into summer and he hadn't called me or hung out with me. He ended up calling me and telling me that he didn't want me to be held down when he went to college and stuff like that..(he said it in a very mean and unthoughtful way) and everyone told me that it could never last and he would NEVER ask me out. He told me that by the time he graduated we would be going out. THis guy is my life and i thought i was his but i guess eveybody was right. HOw do i deal with all of this pain and hurt? What actions should i take to make it better? Revenge or should i just let it go? My friends said i should leave all the stuff he gave me on his front porch and just leave it at that but it just seems to me like he wouldn't care. He hasn't even called me once since he told me this and it's been three days..it's like he wants to just forget everything we had and move on, but i'm not ready to move on. What should i do to make him miss me?
~hurt and confused
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Wow, this sounds painful. Really caring about someone and thinking they feel the same way means that when they decide to end the relationship, it is intensely confusing and difficult.
Basically, it sounds as if this boy possibly didn't mean all of the nice things he said and did. After all, he has dismissed them (and you) without a backwards look. While this isn't an easy thing to think about, it might help you realize that the relationship perhaps wasn't everything it was cracked up to be.
Unfortunately, I don't think you can make him miss you. In fact, I don't think anyone can make anyone else feel something. Maybe he does miss you already. Perhaps he's confused. Or maybe he realizes that him being away at college does mean things wouldn't work between the two of you, so he decided to end things now. Whatever the case, this is over.
It might make you feel better to do some sort of symbolic act. Maybe you can have a (safe) bonfire and burn his notes or presents? Or write him a letter that really, really expresses how you feel, and then get rid of that.
He's done a terrible, hurtful thing. While you may want to react and get back at him, all that does is prolong YOUR stress, pain, and anger.
Get rid of his stuff, and then talk more with your friends. Spend time really caring for yourself - pamper yourself, play sports, write in a journal, whatever makes you feel better. It's important to express your emotions rather than keep them inside.
Once you heal and move on, hopefully you'll find someone who is genuine and looking for a real relationship. Think about the red flags from this relationship - him keeping you a secret, not asking you out, etc - and try to avoid them in the future. You sound like a sincere and caring girl, and I'm sure you'll find someone who truly appreciates that in time.
Best of luck.
]
More Questions: |