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Scared/Nervous/Worried..
14/f
Last night was my 8th grade graduation, and today was my last day of school. The past three years that I have been in middle school have completely changed the way I think, act, and obviously look. Everything changed for me in middle school. Everything HAPPENED. Especially last year, in 7th grade. I have so many memories that I had to leave behind today, that I don't want to forget. And even though some of them I don't really enjoy thinking about, they're still there and I can't help but remember them. I don't know why, but I really don't want to leave. High school seems like such a big transition. I know most people would be like, YESSSS!!! HIGH SCHOOL!!!. But to tell you the truth, I don't want to leave middle school. I don't know exactly why. I think it's mostly the boy I likes fault, partially. Not his fault, but I really feel like I LOVE him, and I'm sure most of you know how hard it is to get over someone.. Well I feel like I'm leaving it, but I don't want to. Like the boy I like, I want to get over him.. but I can't let go. I don't know. I'm all messed up right now. Sorry if this is confusing. Pfft, I don't even know why I'm writing this, it's not really a question. Let me give you some background about this boy I may LOVE. To keep it short but to the point.. 6th grade I barely noticed him. The summer before 7th, however, he IMed me one day. He ended up telling me how he "used" to like me and stuff. Well we continued to talk throughout the summer, and then I found out that he liked me still. At that point, I started to like him too. 7th grade started, and I'm not sure if this is true, but I'm pretty sure he still liked me, and I liked him back. We didn't go out or anything though. Then in around November I think it was, he asked me out.. online and through my friend though. Unfortunately, me, being the shy weirdo I am, said NO. Biggest mistake ever. After that we talked online still.. But now it seems as if he slowly thought I stopped liking him, which is kinda odd since I continued talking to him online and if I didn't like him then I probably wouldn't have. Anyway.. the summer before 8th grade, we still talked, but he ignored me, hardly said anything, and just acted like he didn't care. Around September or the beginning of October of 8th grade, I just gave up. I haven't talked to him since. And it's the same in school.. we NEVER talk. And like we got yearbooks, and I wanted him to sign mine sooo bad.. but that never happened. I always have these chances but give them up, and never get second chances. And sometimes I think that maybe he likes me. I'll see him looking at me or something. This sounds really weird, but I kinda got these like vibes that he wanted to sign my yearbook. But then like I'll see him around all these other girls (he's like popular.. and I'm one of those shy girls with 2 inseperable best friends + some others lol) I really don't know anymore. Anyway, to sum that up.. I'm just soo scared that I'm NEVER gonna talk to him again.. It just feels really awkward to start talking to him again. Like in highschool, I don't want him to completely forget about me. We have such a complex background, so we could make it right? We could end up being together, can't we? Ughh. I don't know. I'm soo sorry this is extremely long lol. I kinda went from one topic to another. So what do you think I should do? I don't want this to end this way.. and I certainly don't want to be forgotten in high school by the only person I really want.. Thank you so much to anyone who answers this extremely long "question", if you can even call it that. Okay, I'll stop now. :) Thanks.
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It all sounds so familiar....! I went through exactly the same thing when I went from middle school to secondary school. There was a guy who I really thought I loved and although he didn't ask me out, one day he asked me if I liked him and I was SO embarressed that I just muttered "No" and that was the end of it. I regretted that for years because after I went to Secondary school, he never wanted anything to do with me because of something a 'friend' did. I also experienced the same fear of moving on. The fear of change into the unknown.
Here's the thing, as you get older, opportunities will knock on the door and every now and then, things will change completely. We can't prevent these changes but we can adapt to them, learn from them and accept that a lot of changes are good. Yes, High School seems intimidating right now but I expect at one point, Middle School did too. Change will always be scary but almost all change will inevitabley be worth it. Not to mention that High School will be whatever you make of it. If you want to enjoy it and work hard, then make sure you do it! Don't worry - it's never as bad as you think it might be and in a few years, you will look back and wonder what you were so scared about!
As for this guy...it's a tricky one really but whatever happens, I really think you need to tell him how you feel. I don't know if you would be able to track down his telephone number (or maybe you have it already) and call him but if you can then you should. Call him and say that you hope he doesn't mind but you wanted to talk to him. If you want, speak to him on MSN or AIM and say this but as soon as you have arranged a date and time to meet, sign off to prevent questioning and spilling the beans too soon. Try to meet him somewhere casual, like a park or a coffee shop. Then sit him down and say you know that you turned him down when he asked you out before but the truth is you really like him and you have done for a long time but you're shy and were scared to do anything about it. Now that you know things could change so much when you go to High School, you didn't want to never have told him that. See what he says. Judging by what you have said about him, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
I know that doing this in person sounds terrifying but PLEASE take it from someone who's been through this before, you should never do things like this over the phone, over the internet or through a friend if possible. If you do it in person, you can get a direct response, where you know what they mean without any doubt as to whether you interpreted it incorrectly or if they pulled a face when giving their answer or speculating over any other aspect of the conversation.
Take it from me, do it now before you miss your window of opportunity. Sometimes opportunity knocks and sometimes it beats down the door. I've learned that sometimes, you need to break the door down for it!
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I felt the same way about Highschool, but it's actually pretty similar to Middle School. You'll keep some of the same friends, lose a few, and make new ones. You'll still have certain spots in the hallways that you meet your friends at, you'll sit together at lunch and make weekend plans. All that will be the same. Don't be "Scared/Nervous/Worried" because what good will that do??? You HAVE to go to HS, so why not make the best of it? Right?!
I think you should keep in contact with the guy over summer. Talk to him over IM and try to get closer with him. If you have his number, don't be afraid to call him. He won't mind, trust me. Find out what he's doing on a certain day/night, get really really cute, and go. Talk to him. If you don't want him to forget you, then don't LET him...
Hope I helped
Kali
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Wow girl! Next time break it into paragraphs so
its easier on the eyes! LOL!
Going to high school probably seems scary but it really won't be. Change is always that way and you'll have more coming in high school. Same as you did in middle school. You survived that OK, right? Sure you did!
This boy has asked you out before so he probably likes you. You are going to have to get brave and stop saying no when he asks you out!
You have to realize that some boys have to muster up a bunch of courage to ask a girl out. It is a tough thing to do...she might say no! Which you did. They get all embarrassed and then don't know how they are supposed to act around you. That's probably where hes at.
So, you do have a chance with him if you want to try it, but you may have to be the one to approach him now. He will be to afraid of rejection to ask you again.
Get on the IM program and talk to him. Once you are on pretty friendly terms again, apologise for
turning him down when you did. Tell him you have felt bad about it. Let him know you would be interested if he wanted to go out sometime. Then follow through with it. No backing out!
Once you get that first date out of the way you will be good to go!
Good luck, go IM the guy. It will be a long summer so you might as well go have some fun with the guy. :)
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