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What is wrong with me?
When ever my boyfriend and I become "mutually excited", I get really into it for the first hour to 45 minutes but then I just lose interest. This has happened with all of my previous boyfriends. The reason I ask now is that my sudden change in enthusiasm seems to upset my current partner, and I really care about him. What can I do to keep myself from losing interest (this happens no matter how much pleasure i am in)? what is wrong with me?
Thank you
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Hi, maybe your not that ready yet. Some people just can't get excited were as others get excited even if they see someones bum. Try something new each time you meet. Is there anything that really turns you on? If there is then you can tell him what it is that turns you on, and try and relax. Maybe your just a wee bit tense and not opening yourself up to him. Discuss it with a Counsellor or someone you trust. Maybe your Boyfriend is a good person to talk to about it. Maybe if you would like, try and get a bit more active in your sex-drive. Like I said before, what turns you on? Answer that question, then discuss it with your Boyfriend. You can't go wrong. Good luck. Daniel.
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I doubt that there is anything wrong with you, especially if the same thing has happened throughout your sexual history.
It sounds to me more as though you just have a low boredom threshold. So no matter what you are doing, you can only sustain interest in it for so long. Some people are just like this, so I really wouldn't worry about it. I once had a friend who could really enjoy sex and keep one eye on the TV at the same time!! I think it's more of a woman thing. This is just a theory of mine but statistics show women multitask more often and more efficiently than men and I expect that this constant doing-two-things-at-once contributes to problems such as your own. You're so used to doing a lot all at the same time, that even when you're highly aroused and in the middle of something intimate, you begin to lose interest.
That's really just a theory but what I would suggest is that you really need to talk to your partner about it. Explain that it isn't that you don't enjoy it but more than you just can't do it for great lengths of time because you lose interest in things too fast. Be VERY careful how you phrase this because if you it comes out wrong, it will put a huge dent in his ego.
Perhaps you could try introducing new things into the bedroom, whether it's paraphenalia or just new positions but try to make sure you only introduce them when you feel yourself begin to lose interest. Hopefully, this will put a little spark back in. Otherwise, you and your partner will just have to accept that while it feels very nice, you can't do it for longer than an hour (which, by the way, is more time than the average lovemaking session by over 20minutes).
Most importantly, just make the most of the time you are sharing in the bedroom, rather than worrying how long it takes.
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Hmmmm...all I can say is try and have fun with it. Be loud! moan, scream, and laugh. Or add some food or toys or w/e your thing is. Try something new! Buy a kama sutra book and do the crazyiest thing you would be ok with. Maybe your taking your sex life too seriously and it can kind of bore you so have fun with it. Sex should always be fun.
=)
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