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Is he cheating and does he love me?
I have had my boyfriend for 2 years and I still don't know if he loves me or not. We have a baby together. Sometimes he does the sweetest little things that say i love you and then sometimes he can be really mean. He thinks it doesn't matter if he talks to other girls because they are just his friends and he is never going to have anyone take my place because he loves me. Sometimes I question whether or not he loves me? At times i can be a bit nagging, always accusing him of cheating and saying really cruel things. He tells me it my ATTITUDE that causes him to be the way he is with me. I know he could leave if he really wanted to but he stays. How can i get over thinking that he is with another woman? Do I love him too much? Is it normal for him not to want to go out with me? When we are together sometimes its the happiest time of my life. I worry because of his secretive ways. How do you know if it love or not?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you have had a baby it's possible your hormones are still all over the place. They can take months to settle and can lead to feelings of insecurity and jealousy. It can also make you feel less feminine for a while due to the whole weight, nursing, exhaustion thing you would have going on. This, in turn, can make you feel more vulnerable.
You can't really stop him from talking to other women without emotionally suffocating him. Sometimes you just have to trust. If he says that there is nothing going on, if he does little things to say he loves you and that no one will be able to take your place, maybe you should give him a chance? Naturally, if you have any concrete evidence of infidelity, that's different but he sounds as though he is trying to make you happy.
Obsessions can drive a partner away, so if this is what you are doing, maybe you should start to write down your feelings and what you are basing them on. If you see them in black and white you could see that there really is nothing for you to worry about. Remember to add all the things he does for you as well.
Lastly, try to imagine life without him, managing each day on your own, not having him there to talk about your day and problems, no little gifts or words of love. Do those thoughts hurt? If they do, it's love and you can deal with this. If you feel relief about him not being in your life or any feelings like it, maybe you should seriously think about your future together. It could be that the way you are nagging and questioning him are a subconscious way of persuading him to leave you. If this is the case, and if he does the leaving, it can justify your thoughts to your subconsciousness and in a way absolve you from anything you have said to him.
Whatever the reasons behind all this, I wish you both well and hope that you will be able to resolve this and be happy.
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If you stop naggin him, he won't feel like he is on a leash and he won't try to rebel against what you want. Just don't nag, don't say things you don't mean, don't always ask him if he loves you and all that other stuff because that shows you are insecure. Tell him that it hurts you when he flirts with other girls, even if they are just friends. You would know if it is love or not, there is no maybe.
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