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general confusion
Hey. I'm a 19/f who just so happens to be a virgin. I've only had one boyfriend in the past and it wasn't the best experience. Nothing like rape or anything, it was just that I was going through some emotional problems and told him about how I didn't care too much about living anymore and his response was that if I do kill myself I should stab myself in the stomach AND then he broke up with me. That was about 3 years ago and I still haven't dated anyone since then. Its not like I'm getting girlfriend proposals everyday but when there is an oppurtunity for a possible realationship with someone, I sabotage it by either keeping myself away from the person or being realy rude to them. I know the problem here is probably trust issues but I just don't know what to do. Also, I'm starting to question my sexuality. I don't know if I'm attracted to women now because of my bad experience with the guy, or if its truly for real. I had some attraction towards women before I dated this guy, but now it seems thats my main attraction. Anyway, any advice would help.
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A great way to face your trust issues is to go to a professional (i.e. psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist) about it.
But in the case you can't afford it, it sounds like you are ready to take a personal journey to find yourself. Before we can reach out and love others, we need to reach in and love ourself first.
Concerning your orientation, after you have gotten to the point of liking yourself, it might be a good time to open up and try dating women to see if it works for you. You don't need to escalate things so quickly, you could tell them that you're interested in a slow relationship to see if it would lead anywhere.
Cheers,
stargirl
P.S. that jerky ex of yours needs a good dose of humanity.
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My boyfriend choices were really bad also, so don't beat yourself up about that. If you think you like women more that try date a few girls and see how you feel. Keep reminding yourself that your first boyfriend was a jerk and your probably not going to find another one quite as bad. When you get boyfriend possibilities just try and attempt not to be so rude and put yourself out there. I would also think of taking some trust classes.
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