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Virginity
Hello Alisonmarie,
My husband and I have been married for 6 months. We both are vigins and have been trying to have sex. But everytime we try, i experience severe pain and we stop. We did tried lubricant, however my hole is very small. Please help.. is there any other methods?
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You will need to build up to actual intercourse. By this I mean that you will both need to take your time and make sure you are fully aroused before any penetration occurs. You'll need to take control and make your likes/dislikes very clear to your husband. If you are unclear about what you enjoy sexually, you might want to consider spending some time exploring your own body.
When you feel fully ready to have sex, have your husband insert one finger in you. Stick with this for a few times until you feel comfortable; he may then try two fingers. Another alternative is to buy a dildo or vibrator which is somewhere between the width of one of your husband's fingers and his penis. Use this a few times until your body can do it comfortably.
In this way, you gradually stretch your vagina - and you also emotionally have time to relax and just enjoy yourself without worrying about trying to make things fit. This will help you enjoy sex more, which will also help loosen the muscles in your vagina.
After this process, you can then try penetrative sex. Make sure your husband pushes very slowly. Some of your current pain is from the tightness, and some could also be the result of him not knowing what angle he should be attempting to enter you at. Using his fingers and the dildo will help him become more comfortable with the process, which should also help sex in the long run.
If this doesn't work, you may want to see a doctor to make sure there is no physiological problem. A psychosexual therapist would also be able to offer more in depth advice.
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