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exam stress and boyfriend!
my boyfriend(19) and I(18) have been together over 2 months and he suggested sleeping together this weekend. We're both virgins but we discussed contraception etc and i do feel ready for it but my university entrance exams are in two weeks and are the most important exams i will ever do. I think ill be too stressed to be able to enjoy it and id like to wait til after the exams. (a month or so) he says he doesnt mind and ive said id like to do other stuff with him but i still feel as if an innocence is gone from our relationship and its made me very depressed.I feel like the issue is hanging in the air and that sex is all that matters.i love him but i was hurt by a guy very badly before and im always worry he doesnt really love me.But he treats me so well and is so kind and loving and considerate.How can I clear the air?please help,i cant study properly for exams!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Concidering you have exams coming up (and in only two weeks), I'd say it's a great idea to wait until after you're done with them.
Now, If I understand right, you feel an innocence is gone because he wants to have sex. I've thought about this and you have a good point. I guess it all depends on the guy. Perhaps you could start slowly and try a few other sex related things and see if it changes the relationship before going all the way.
The person who hurt you in the past is going to stay with you until you're able to let it go. I can't say whether your worries are about him loving you are valid, but I can tell you're afraid it will happen again.
I think you should make what happened in the past clear to him (which you probably already have), and go about this slowly. Guys tend to be very sex driven but if you aren't quite ready, he should be able to understand.
So I'd make it clear that you don't want to do anything until after exams. Make sure he knows you aren't 'commiting' to sex though. Doing that should solve the issue for the time being. If for some reason after exams you're still not ready, by all means let him know you need more time. If he loves you, he will wait.
Hope I've helped.
-James :)
Good luck on those exams.
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