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i need advice
My fiancee and i was just recently engaged hes 26 im 24 he lives in cali and ive moved back home to nc he will be comin back in july hopefully....hes there cause his job is there. i did move out there then we started having a few problems and i got pregnant and sick and i moved back hom and was put in the hospital...so while he worked sumone could care for my lil gurl i was to sick to and he has no family out there..so i came home wat started the problems he had an account on yahoo personals gurls he had been talkin to and answering back it broke my hear to to see that i still think bout that alot im trying to deal with it but knowin hes there with out me and wat all happened before it makes me think that he would do it again i dont think he physically cheated on me...i keep askin my self if he loves me so much like he says then how could he do that just talk to another female in that way? i also got a cell phone with a friend that he hates just so i could talk to him thats why hes so mad at me when we first started dating now i dont he hated him cause he liked me and wouldnt leave me alone he feels like i went behind his back and lyed to him and thats not all i lyed to him bout that maybe im hidin sumthin else...he wants me to take a lie detector test i told him i love him and if that would make him happy then i would i also know that from my past that it had happened before and i took one with my ex and i couldnt live with the gulit of him not trustin me and him goin to the extent of my having to take one that i couldnt live with it i feel like he should have trusted me in everyway...now that i told my fiancee that now he really thinks i have sumthing to hide that im guilty of sumthin more i love this man with all my heart and soul i dont wanna loose him wat do i do ...i cant make any promises if he wants me to take one then i will just so he will be happy but i dont think i will be able to live with that trust is a big issue with me......please help a gurl dyin from the inside...
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Hi
I am totally with you on the trust issue! It is one of the top three necessities in any relationship. The other two are love and respect.
Sounds to me like you've been through an awful lot. Your troublesome pregnancy, your health, and the day to day care of your little girl. You are going through all of this with little or no support from your fiance.
Then as if to add salt to your wounds he's accusing you of being unfaithful, and lying to him. I'm sure you are aware of this, but nine times out of ten, if one partner is accusing the other of cheating, it's because the accuser is actually the guilty party. I'm not saying this is happening, but I think it's something you need to consider and look into.
You stated that he is chatting with other girls online. This may not be "physical" cheating, but it is cheating to a degree. If he is sharing intimate, or sexual thoughts with someone else, then his mind is straying from you.
I know you said you love him with everything in you, but I think you need to ask yourself something. Do you really deserve to be treated this way? To me the answer is an astounding NO!! You've had a child with this man, and you are about to marry him. I think you need to do some soul searching, and figure out if this is the way you want to live your life. Always being questioned about your intents, when all the while it's his intents that aren't genuine.
You have a little girl now, who deserves and needs to be your everything. She needs to be loved with your heart and soul. Think about her in a family situation where her parent's aren't exactly getting along.
In my opinion you haven't done anything to warrant his suspicions, and he SHOULD trust you. You should stand up for yourself and refuse the lie detector...not because you're guilty, but because you deserve some respect. Maybe HE should be the one taking the test!!!
Good luck girl, take care of that baby, and yourself. Do what's right for the both of you.
Brenda
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