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Crazy Ex Girlfriends
Okay... so this might sound weird to you.. but i dont even know what to do anymore. Im 15/f.. and im dating this guy.. him and his ex girlfriend went out for a year and like 4 months.. it was an extremely long relationship.. but she went completly crazy... her mom went crazy also.. like calling the guys house. making up stuff about him doing drugs.. so they broke up SEVERAL months ago.. and he seems completely over her.. now me and this guy are dating.. and i like him so much.. i really do..but she is like going crazy on me... iming me... calling me.. texting me./. calling my friends parents.. just being really weird.. and all my mom and sister can say is "be careful"... she claimes that they do stuff.. and he told me when that last time they had done ANYTHING.. and he is honest with me about that kinda stuff.. and my best friend.. just says.. keeep going with it.. and see what happens.. but i dont want to keep going if i am being used to make his ex jealous.. thats not how should be treated.. im out of ideas.. and i have NO IDEA what to do
Please Give me your thoughts..
thanks so much
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This is a really TOUGH one! OK. First I want to point out something (because it's what Mom's do - ha!)...
Try very hard to understand why this ex-gf is behaving this way. (YOU CAN LEARN A VALUABLE LESSON FROM THIS POOR GIRL'S MISTAKES)...You mentioned that the ex-gf says they "do stuff" and I'm going to assume you mean sexual things. You know, so many kids below the age of 15 are sexually active and this is an excellent example of why kids ARE NOT READY! Even though your bodies seem ready - the emotions that go with sex are NOT. I know several girls your age that got intimate with their bfs and once the boys broke up, the girls were unable to let go EMOTIONALLY. Some of these girls have been broken up for over a year and they STILL can not let go of their ex's. (and they can not see how it is ruining their lives)
I bring this up because it sounds like what you are dealing with. Sex is not just a temporary physical bond. In many cases, it bonds you emotionally (at a time that you just aren't ready to deal with it - especially the emotions that arise when ONE of the parties involved breaks that bond). So please look at this girl and her mom and learn from it. You described them both as "Crazy" and I understand what you mean. When someone (guy or girl) gets emotionally...let's just call it "obsessed"...it is scary. People do and say desperate things as a reaction to these emotions - and they don't even understand their OWN behavior. And it's not that they even want their Ex back - it's because they can't stand their ex moving on. So, I totally agree with with your Mom and Sister - BE CAREFUL!
I have so much more I can add to this but I don't want to do it on advicenators. So if you want to talk about it more, IM me - even if my away is up. SteeleSlavsMom
But to summarize - DO be careful. Your Mom and Sister love you like no other and they are closer to this situation than I am. But they are both female and they may understand what I'm talking about better than you realize. Talk to your Mom about this! I think it's an important topic that is often over looked - Sex isn't just physical - it's VERY emotional (they don't teach this part in sex-ed and it's a shame) - sex can create emotions that are difficult (IMPOSSIBLE to some kids) to control and these emotions can last a lifetime.
So really, the problems you describe have very little to do with YOU. I doubt your bf is using you (consiously) to make his ex jeleous. I also think he IS telling the truth that they aren't physical anymore - but I also believe HER when she says they ARE (in her HEAD, it's still part of thier relationship!)
__________________
These are emotions that this couple are trying to deal with and you - and anybody else that either of them get involved with - will be exposed to this "fall-out" from their past. Are you sure this guy is worth it? If so, take this as a lesson and be careful not to make the same mistake his ex did. You don't want to end up an emotional mess like her. But know that she is going to be a major part of your relationship with him. It could take YEARS for her to move on. They say it takes 2x's the amount of time you went out to get over an intense relationship. That means you have over 2 yrs to deal with all this. Is it worth it?
If you still feel like my answer isn't helping, really DO im me about this and we can talk about it more. I have a story from my own past that I'll share with you. I think it may help you.
Much Love, Mrs S
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