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"him"
first off - let me start by saying its really cool that a mom is helping teenagers. you seem really cool & fun. so thanks. anyway - i have a problem thats really been bugging me. [13/f] okay. so my boyfriend broke up with me monday. we dont go to the same school but we see each other pretty much week day because our schools have a conjoined track team (i know its wierd..blahh). anyway - he was always putting me on the "back burner" and putting his friends before me. we were together "officially" like a month and a half - but have been like doing bf/gf kinda stuff for about 3 or 4 months. he said he just doesnt feel it for me anymore. and its not there. he didnt wanna lie to me and he told me i was an amazing person but just not a girlfriend. hes all i can think about now. and its completely is driving me crazy. everytime i think about like us togetehr i end up balling my eyes out because we arent anymore. please dont say start flirting because i already do that - even when i have a boyfriend. the guys at my school are gay, immature & retards. so thats a deffinitate negative. i really fell hard for him, like really. i know - im young & theres other fish in the sea. but idk, its not gonna be the same. any ideas on maybe trying to get him back? .. or just getting over him. thanks in advance :]
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Thanks for the sweet words. I hope you feel the same when I'm done answering your question!
Ok so this is a sore subject with me so give me a second to get on my "Mommy Bandwagon"...
...It really makes me crazy when a girl gets upset over loosing a guy. Girls tend to think that they are only valuable when a guy validates them by liking them and/or asking them out. This could not be further from the truth! Ladies! Listen up! The GUYS are the lucky ones if YOU like THEM! I wish I could give every single girl reading this the confidence to understand what I'm saying...Girls are brought up to be insecure! Break out of this and you will be so much happier!!!!
This insecurity is really not your fault. Look at the movies you were brought up on...
1. Cinderella...well she wasn't really pretty or anything until Prince Charming fell for her. 2. Sleeping Beauty and Snow White...well the poor things were practically "DEAD" until their Prince kissed them!
3. Then Arial - well she didn't even have LEGS until she got her Prince to love her.
And I can go on and on with these stupid stories (metaphors) of females that seemed sweet, kind, pretty, etc but they just weren't "complete" until a guy came along...
Gee, I wonder who wrote those idiotic stories?!
So I know it's almost impossible to help you because you have been brain washed by society to think that unless you have a male's attention, approval, and "heart" - you must not be worthy.
Let me tell you right now that the best way for you to move on with your life and quit crying over this guy, is to focus all of your attention on YOU! Enroll in a class at the recreation center, or join a gym, volunteer to help someone, raise money for a good cause, write a book, do extra credit in school, get a new hobby...do SOMETHING that improves YOU! Get your confidence up so you can look in the mirror and think "OMG! Any guy would be so lucky for me to like him. But who NEEDS one anyway?!"
When you get this attitude (not stuck up - just CONFIDENT), you will be amazed with the number of guys lined up to EARN your attention.
A guy doesn't "complete you." YOU complete YOU. The guy is just lucky to get your attention.
When I first started dating Mr. S, I hadn't finished my degree, I was in a low paying job, and I was crazy over him! One day, I finally asked him where our relationship was going and he told me that he'd never marry me because I didn't seem to have it together. He wasn't breaking up with me, he just didn't see a future. So why waste my time? I still saw him, but suddenly, he didn't mean as much to me. So I finished my degree, landed a killer job, and quit worrying about him. He proposed shortly after I moved on and "got it together" and we've been together ever since.
Respect yourself and then GUYS will respect you too! THAT's the key to getting any guy you want!
Believe it! Learn it! Live it!
So the last thing you asked me was "any ideas on maybe trying to get him back?..or just getting over him."
My recommendation is to GET OVER HIM and fall in love with YOU! Odds are, you'll end up getting him back but seeing that he really wasn't worthy of you to begin with!
Let me know what happens.
Love, Mrs S
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