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help me.
ok mrs. s.
i dont know you, but you seem really nice.
i need advice. i cant really talk about this with anyone else.
theres this guy ive liked for a really long time. but he likes anohter girl who happens to be one of my best friends, im not completely sure he likes her but i think he does.
how can i change that or let him know i like him?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This is a tough problem. You can't really FORCE someone to like you enough to be your bf or gf but you CAN make them like you MORE than they do NOW. Was that confusing?
People don't chose who they like. It's kindof a natural thing that happens. But here are some things you can do to make you seem a lot more interesting to him...
1. NEVER talk about yourself unless he asks questions. Sometimes people think "Well if he knew me better, he'd like me..." This is NOT true. People like you because of the way they feel about themselves when they are WITH you.
So think about that for a second...
2. Ask about HIM. What sports does he like, who are his favorite teams, what does he want to do when he grows up? What college does he wish he could go too...etc. Don't make it seem like you are giving him the third degree - just get him to talk about HIMSELF. I know this sounds strange to you right now - but TRY it! When people feel like you are interested in them - for some magical reason, it makes YOU seem more interesting to them! And don't just ask questions - be interested in it! If he says he loves country music and you hate it - ask him what he likes about it. Tell him you would love to learn more about country music but you have no clue how to get started. Make HIM feel like he is someone that can HELP you or GUIDE you. Guys LOVE feeling like he is smarter than a girl (just ask Jessica Simpson how well this "dumb" thing works)
3. NEVER put down your friend or be negative about anything. People enjoy POSITIVE people. Negative people tend to push people away without even realizing they are doing it.
4. NEVER tell him you like him before he tell you he likes YOU! Guys want to be the one that chases. Most guys HATE pushy or agressive girls. They feel like that should be THEIR role. I know it's hard but let him think this "relationship" is HIS idea - not yours.
5. This is KEY - GET HIS FRIENDS TO LIKE YOU! If the friends like you - they will "sell" you without even realizing they are doing it! Guys (and Girls too) really need the approval of their friends when they "like" someone. If you have the support of the friends and his/her family, the relationship has a much better chance at being successful!
I have a few more tips but try those and let me know how it works out for you. I think you will be really happy with the results.
Also, You actually have a "part 2" to your question...."Your Friend"
You never mentioned if she liked him too. I hate seeing anybody put something above their friendships. So think carefully about this before you pursue it. If you have her blessing - then this will be much easier on you and everybody concerned.
Please keep me posted. Especially since I don't know you. I like to hear what works and what doesn't. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to help you and Good Luck! Much Love, Mrs S
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