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how to get a guy to open up
I know this guy. I think i have a crush on him.
but i dont know if he likes me or even wants to be my friend at all.
He's a consultant and talks extremely well when i ask him for advise on work.
However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.
So one day, i gave him some sweets (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt say word!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!
He could have just thank me for the sweets but he didnt.
Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well.
But he sounds uptight everytime i call him but funny thing is he talks well via email.
How do i get him to open up to me as a normal friend?
What can i say/should not say to him when i call him? Can i call him to say goodnight to him? I dont want to appear too invasive ...
Would appreciate your advice.
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If I were in this situation, I would keep e-mailing him. Continue to get him to open up this way. Some people are just very shy face to face. Do this for a week or so and if things seem to be progressing well on e-mail, try to talk to him more. I'm very up front with people. The last time I dealt with something like this, I basically said, "You seem to have a lot to say on e-mail...but not as much in person. Why is that?" If you seem open and receptive to whatever he has to say, he might feel like he can be more open because he'll see that you aren't judgmental. Either way, I'd stay away from the phone for now. Phone conversations can be even more awkward than face to face ones.
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