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the way he acts...
My fiancee (hes 21, im 23) has just left for Florida (hes in the marines) anyways he'll be there till the 29th and he left the 17th. So Since he's been gone, ive talked to him a total of 2 times and thats it. its like he dont even care if he talks to me or not. also his phone is "messed" up because the ac was leakin' and dripped water into it or so he says. we just got off the phone (convo like 5 minutes!) and he wouldnt tell me he loved me or missed me, i had to say it first and when hes here with me, he acts so different, tells me all the time how much he loves me, introduces me to all his friends, family so sweet and caring but when he goes away its like poof I dont matter any more and it breaks my heart. If I bring this up to him he will yell at me (because when he goes away like that hes drunk) even though he doesnt drink hardly any when hes with me (we live together) this makes me want to cry I dont know why hes acting like that. Its not because he's so busy as to why i get ignored, his work is non deployable so this is like a mini vacation 4 them. ill rate
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Could someone have been right there? I know that sometimes when my wife calls me and my boss is nearby, I can't say much.
And with him being a Marine, I suppose if other Marines were standing around they might laugh at him if he said "I love you" into the phone.
On the other hand...some guys just aren't good at talking on the phone.
Or maybe something else is going on; there's no way to know.
No way for ME to know, that is. But *you* have an option. You can ask him. Email him, or call him. Or even send him a letter.
He's your fiancee. You're planning to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him. If you can't find a way to talk to him, to communicate effectively, you're making a big mistake.
And if you really can't...I'd suggest talking to a couples counselor. You two aren't different from many other couples, but believe me: if you can work out good ways to communicate now, it will pay you back a thousand times over during the years that you spend together.
I noticed a couple of red flags in your question. You said he yells at you; that is NOT acceptable. That sort of behavior never gets better, and almost always gets worse. If he's losing his temper at you already, and losing that much self-control...well, I'd worry. It could be the first step towards abuse, and when someone is trained to kill, that's a dangerous combination.
The drinking is another big red flag. Again, it shows a lack of self-control that isn't appropriate in a Marine, or anyone. Both of these signs make me honestly wonder if this relationship is good for you. At the least, couples counseling is a good place to start.
I wish you the best of luck.
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