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Im Dying inside...


Question Posted Tuesday March 21 2006, 6:33 pm

well long story short... my mom has been drinking since i was born which would be almost 15 years. she cant go more than 5 days without drinking. When she drinks she starts stuff with me and my dad and her argue EVERY time he finds out she is drinking. my dad pops pills and probably does other stuff. he doesnt know that i know. when my mom isnt drinking i tell her that i think he is and that he talks to people on his cell when im in the car and its obvious that he is talking to someone that is giving him that stuff. Well anyways i tell her that stuff when shes not drinking and i tell her not to tell my dad. and then when she is drinking she tells him everything. shes did it a couple times. and i cant help telling her what i think because shes my mom. i always get stressed out. and my dad yells at me when i tell her. and he says that im a shitstarter.thats not true. i dont like them arguing but i also dont like keeping stuff inside. my dad has a bad anger problem and my mom drinks. ive been going through this stuff and listening to them yell since i was little. i know shes not a good mom and hes not a good dad. but im only 14 so i cant leave unless i run away which i really want to do. tonite was the most recent night the have been fighting and im crying right now. i want to get put in a foster home but people tell me that is will be worse there. i know this isnt healthy for me. i dont want to be upset all the time i want to have a normal mom. and live a normal life. ive always wanted to die and these are one of the reasons y, because i listen to this stuff alot. i never tried killing myself but im scared for my own health because i know one day ill get the courage to do it. i know theres nothing wrong that im doing i just wish i was never born.
any advise will help. im dying inside.
please dont tell me to help my mom and dad get help because that is not a option for me.

love,kaykay


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Vikki27 answered Friday March 24 2006, 5:11 pm:
Oh God you poor thing. I feel so awful for you.

I know that they are your parents so I know somewhere inside you do love them....but you NEED to get away from them and running away is NOT the answer. What you need to do is to report the situation to social services. They will be able to take you away to a foster carer and PLEASE please don't think that it will be worse. I have no idea who you have heard that from but it's just not true.

Thousands of children every year go into care and although it's rare to hear from them after they are settled, so many grow up to be healthy, happy people and right now I desperately want you to be one of them. It's a huge step but next chance you get, look up social services in the phone book, or phone directory enquiries for their number. Call them and explain the situation and someone will come round to perform some form of assessment.

The bottom line is that you have got to get away. You also need to remember that although what you're going through right now makes everything seem so dull and grey, you're only 14 and the experiences you have had so far are only part of what should be a long and happy life. You don't want to throw away the fantastic life you might go onto lead just because of the thoughtles, stupid actions of your parents, who, by the way, clearly need some help themselves. Chances are social services will provide them both with some form of rehabilitation.

Please stay strong. You have your whole life without them ahead of you and you could be SO happy. If you give up now, you'll never know. You could go on to be a successful career woman, wife, mother, who knows what else, so don't give that all up because of this. You can get through it. If you ever need to talk, PLEASE e-mail me. Everything WILL be fine but you need to get some help and support from social services. Take care of yourself in the meantime.

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karenR answered Tuesday March 21 2006, 7:55 pm:
Do you have a relative you can stay with?

I think it would be in your best interest to move in with someone else. A relative would be best but if it has to be a foster family then do it.

There comes a time when you have to save yourself. Maybe your being taken from the home will straighten at least one of your parents up. Though that is no guarantee, of course.

If you don't have a relative you can discuss the option with, go to the school counselor for help.

Good luck to you. :)

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pootietang answered Tuesday March 21 2006, 7:52 pm:
Well..I have never been in such a drastic situation as this but I'll try my best to help you. Here are your options.

1. See a school councelor. Tell them EVERYTHING (if you leave anything out, they may not give you the best help). I know that you will probably get this advise a lot, but seriously they are there to help people who need help.

2. Contact a group of some sort for child services or something like that. Again, tell them everything and ask for help. How can it hurt?

3. Run away to a friend's house if it gets completely out of hand, even though it kind of already is. First, though, tell your friend everything and talk to your friend's parents about it. Ask to stay there for a while. I don't know how your parents will take it, or what to say to them, though. Sorry =(. But PLEASE DONT run away and hitchhike or anything like that! That's how people get kidnapped and raped.

4. Deal with it. Realize that you only have to live with them for a few more years (depending on how old you are).

In my opinion, I would do number 1 first, then 2. If neither help, then try doing number 3 even if it sounds risky. Please get help or get out. If you can't do either..then you're stuck with number 4 =(

I wish you TONS of luck! You can get through this!

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