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omg
okay so i basically hate my boyfriends mom.....so my boyfriend had his friend sleepover the other night and well early today my boyfriends mom finds a condom on his floor kinda pushed outta the way well my b/f n me dont do that kinda stuff at all!! and well we think that mabye its his friends and now my b/fs mom is saying how she is going to call my mom and tell her and i didnt do anything im not like that and i just hate his mom she has never liked me she always asks me about my family problems and she also called me a slut behind my back when she first met me and when she first met me i was still in the stage of all we would do is hold hands and hug i dont know wat to do cause shes gunna call my mom and im so scared please help!
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Wow. I am SO sorry that you are going through this. BUT it sounds like you are learning first hand why there is a very good reason "mother-in-law" sends shivers down the spines of most females! haha
Try and understand what you are REALLY dealing with here -
The relationship between a Mom and her son is pretty complicated - Your boyfriend is her baby and her instincts are to protect him from the world. I'm sure it's nothing against you personally...it's about her BABY growing up and suddenly she is having to share his affection and attention with a STRANGER!
And it never goes away! I'm 41 and still fight with my mother-in-law. She has actually said that I have "changed" her son because he used to drive 3 hrs each way just to mow her stupid lawn! I've accepted that this is never going to be better. This can be a good learning experience for you because - trust me - you WILL have this same thing happen to you time and time again with other boys' moms.
Ok so you only have two options...
1. Break up with your bf - but know that this will probably happen again with the next one.
OR
2. Learn to play the game. Accept that not many women are going to let another female just walk in and take their BABY! To a mother, a son is a "clean slate" that she has been able to mold into her idea of a perfect male...since birth...so there's a ton of time invested in this and from a Mom's perspective - it's going to take an amazing young lady to be worthy of all that work (and this girl better be appreciative of all that hard work!). Try and understand where she's coming from. I'm not saying she's right to make you feel bad. I'm saying to learn to work with what you have there. Put yourself in her place and try and say and behave the way she needs you to.
Some suggestions - Thank her for raising such a great guy. Tell her how lucky you are. Tell her what a great mom she is and you hope you can be like her some day. Ask her for recipes of your bfs fav foods. Just keep being nice. She probably won't ever come around TOTALLY - but you CAN help soften her up a bit. Besides, if you allow her to make this a competition for him and his affection, you will loose every time.
And regarding the condom...I'd rather talk to you on aim about that topic. But I think you should go ahead and talk to your mom. Tell her what you just wrote to me. It sounds rational to me. I would bet that she will be very understanding. Then your bfs mom can't hold that over your head. AND it makes you look innocent if you can look her in the eye and tell her that you've already talked to your mom. That gives YOU the power instead of your bfs mom.
IM me and let me know if this helps at all and good luck!!!!! This is a problem that has challenged every generation of females so at least you know what you are going through is VERY common! lol Much Love, Mrs S
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