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How can I make a meaningful apology?
Quite awhile ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of many years. We haven't spoken in what seems like ages, but I came to the realization that she was definitely more emotionally invested in relationship than I was, and that my actions most likely came across as incredibly brusque and uncaring. What I would like to know is, how can I let her know that I wasn't trying to be hurtful or vindictive, but that I knew I couldn't give her what she wanted, so I felt it would be better for her to find someone who could do that for her? She's a great person - very helpful and with a lot of love to give - but I just couldn't give back what she gave. I don't necessarily need her to feel that we should be really good friends again, but at least to understand where I was coming from. Can you help?
P.S. - It probably didn't help that we broke up on Valentine's Day...
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If this is who I think it is, first of all, I'd like to congratulate you on finding this... and secondly ask what brought this on. I suppose in regards to answering the question (if this isn't my ex) I'd start with asking yourself how your ex felt when she heard the news that you wanted something better for her. Did she cry? Was she upset? She probably was(if she's anything like me, she was crushed to find out that the person she'd spent so much time and energy on had decided that all she'd done wasn't worth it for you) and it's probably taken her the better part of a few years to get over you. High School romances seem to be the most serious at the time and while she's probably doing just fine at this point, most likely in a good relationship, living half-way across the world from you at this very point.
Still, if you feel that an apology is in order, I'd try giving her a call, or e-mailing her explaining why it is that you decided to drop the bomb on her (especially on the crappy Hallmark holiday) so abruptly, and why you decided that instead of breaking up with her totally, you would try and 'date' her to see if things would work out. My guess would be that it was pity for her in her cry, heartbroken state.
I'd just like to add here, that if you considered breaking up with her before you actually did, and prior to that, had been considering marriage, as is the case with my ex, that turn in thinking should probably be explained.
Hope that helps.
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