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So,why do men stare.??

Question Posted Thursday January 26 2006, 2:09 am

I'm married 13 years,35,burnt out,I have no life,no friends,I'm shy,I'm fat,but "such a pretty face"type,above average so I've been told.I dress up when I go out.I feel like a house keeper and nothing more.I am an island.I live for my kids.I hate my inlaws,they hate me.I'm also crazy about a married man.Hes a professional,around 40 years old.A few months ago he was making very intense eye contact,like 6 seconds in total silence.We have chemistry,I feel like I have known him all my life ,we get along great.I have never felt this with anyone before.I always catch him staring,he limits eye contact to 1-2 seconds now,BUT,the staring hasnt stopped,considering my self esteem is in the toilet,my first assumption is that he stares at my unbearable ugliness.Last time I saw him I actually caught him peeking around a corner,another time he was looking behind himself over his shoulder.He seems to always be looking at my face because,as soon as i move my eyes he looks away.I can see him out of the corner of my eye.His body language is always open,his pupils dont contract,or dilate,he is the shy quiet type,or at least around me he gets quiet,but friendly.His face is often blank when he looks at me,his eyebrows are almost always up, hands on hips facing me directly,there is lite physical contact.Am I mistaking friendliness for flirting.?Why does he keep staring.? Why did he stop the eye contact.?I want him to make a move.Am I fooling myself. Mabe I'm reading into something that doesnt exist.No morality lesson please,I already know that cheating is wrong,at this point I dont care.I'm not looking for permission to have an affair or to be told I'm looking for an escape.I'm going to have an affair whether its him or someone else.I'm not looking for an escape,I will stay for my kids.Advice would be appreciated.Thankyou

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OneMan answered Thursday February 23 2006, 8:08 pm:
Lol, taking the time and effort you have put into outlining the "kinesics" of the interaction, I think you already have the answer to your question. You know the intricacies of body language a bit more than the average. So, my question is, since you're not looking for an excuse to have an affair, or permission, and I believe you whole-heartedly on that, what exactly are you seeking here? I know you know what the b.l. means, and you know it's a bit more than simple, " Let's engage in idle chatter". Let's stop kidding ourselves, you know that not many are going to "stare" at what they deem to be "unbearably ugly", not even I. You know what's there, you know what he may be trying to intimate, and you know how you're going to act, or react ( if you haven't done so, already). The only thing to which I would take umbrage is your "staying for the children". But, I'm willing to bet the Pope's last dollar that if you are as well-versed on ever-lasting scars and impressions on children as you are the fine science of kinesics, then I need not go into depth with you on that. As I tell my children, " Do you", which simply means, stay true to yourself. With that having been said, be careful, think of the consequences of all involved, and "Do you".

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