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Does anybody have the cure for shyness?
There is this guy that I really like, and I think he may like me too, but my shyness is holding me back. I don't have any classes with him, so it's hard to just start up a casual conversation without sounding stupid. And none of my friends are his friends, so it isn't like I could casually join into a conversation. I wrote him a note once, but I didn't even have the guts to hand it to him myself, so I had my friend do it. I think Nick would like me more if I could show him that I'm not afraid to talk to him. I'm not really "afraid" of talking to him. I guess i'm just very nervous of what might happen because of it. (Like me sounding like a total dork) Any tips or anything...? lol, thanks!
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I kind of had the same problem as you, but I've conquered it! The best way to get rid of your shyness around him would probably be to get up the courage to talk to him. If you're way too shy for that, then maybe send him hints that you like him, for instance, smiling at him in the hall if you pass him. Or try to get his attention some how. Good luck!
**Bethany**
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Hey,
There's not really a 'cure' as such. If you're a shy person it takes a long time to get over that part of your personality. The good thing is that you only have to get over one person. THAT is much easier.
As far as I have found, and still figure, notes aren't so good. Even if you get up the courage to hand over a note, you will still have to face the boy later, and only possibly be a little less shy. Plus, if the guy doesn't like you, and he's not such a nice guy, it gives him written paper ammo if he ever WANTS to embarrass you.
If you're nervous about talking to him because you don't know what will happen, there are a few ways to tackle that. First of all, I'll point out the thing that I think is most critical. I do know what is very likely to happen if you >don't< get up the courage to talk to him. If you don't talk to him, he will never know you. It might take you years of being at the same school as him, but eventually he won't be there anymore, and unless you're one of those people who looks back on their life at 50 and is glad that they never did anything because they didn't take any risks then you will kick yourself for a very long time for not talking to him when you had the chance. It was put concisely for me in the Mark Twain quote; "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." If you never take the relatively safe risks, then you never live!
So always think when you see the guy "If I don't talk to him, soon there won't be another chance" that helps (me) a lot in getting around to things.
You said that you didn't want to sound like a total dork. Well you aren't one, are you?
When you're talking to your friends... (You have a male friend, right) - Well you talk to him, don't you? What makes him any different from the guy you like?
Stop and take a while to think about the guy you like. He's a person, he's human (I hope :) He's just like you. Once you see him as a person, you can start to prepare yourself to talk to him. He's no big task, he's just like you. See, the reason people screw up their sentences when they talk to people they like for the first time is that they panic, and think one thing, while saying another thing. They try to do things too fast, and break down under the pressure they put themselves under by idolising the person they like. If you pretend you're just talking to one of your male friends when you meet him for the first time, it is most likely that everything will go very smoothly.
If you're still afraid of embarrassing yourself, then try to catch him alone. Intercept him on his way to or from his locker, or at the end of school. That means there are less people around to see, and not only will less people see you if you screw up, but you'll be less nervous about it, and so you're less likely to screw up.
Depending on what kind of person you are, you could either just talk to him as a friend to start, and then try to build something out of that before you get too 'friendly', and it just seems weird to add romance to that friendship, or you could ask him if he'd like to do something (a light date - don't say that to him) with you sometime, and take it from there. If you decide to ask him on a date, try to avoid movies, or other things that will mean paying attention to things other than each other. It's all very nice to sit in a theatre and hold hands through a movie, but if you think about the value you get from the conversation you could have over lunch, it might seem a little pointless going to the movies with anybody, just to sit there and watch the film. I think I've gone a little past where your question was at, but at least it was thorough. Sorry if you're not a reader!
-K
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I could give you all the tips in the world but in the end you have to just decide you're going to talk to him and that's that. Don't worry about sounding like a dork. It's a part of life. I sounded like a complete moron at least 25% of the time I opened my mouth around girls in school. Most of the time they didn't even seem to notice! So I wish you good luck and hope it turns out well for you!
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