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okay..
okay, i dont understand why i feel like this, but it happens in my relationship sometimes. well like sometimes ill feel bad for something i did (or didnt do) even though i probably shouldnt.. so i apologize for it.. then after i say im sorry.. i feel bad again and feel stupid like why did i even apologize for that? and i also feel like apologizing for stuff even when i dont even know if it needs a "im sorry" that its gonna push my boyfriend away.. or cause problems for spilling my heart out or saying sorry. so then sometimes ill tell him "well im sorry for apologizing, i thought i needed to" I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IM LIKE THIS!! i hope it makes sense, it was hard to explain. and i know that if i said sorry at the time.. then it was obviously how i felt and nothing is wrong with letting your boyfriend know exactly how you feel or what is on your mind, is there? like i dont wanna push my boyfriend away by always being musy & sweet or apologizing.. but that kind of stuff won't push him away will it? i dont know, im confused. oh and no.. my boyfriend has never said anything like he doesnt like it when i say im sorry for stupid stuff or being sweet/mushy or anything.. but maybe hes just not telling me. someone just help me please!
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What you need is some confidence. Finding steel balls is hard to do sometimes. When you feel the need to apologize, try replacing "I'm sorry" random words such as button, placemat, or veggie wrap.
Just don't apologize for saying those words- it defeats the purpose.
When I tried to stop saying the word God so much, I used words like mullet and penguin and ham.
When I would go to say... GOD!!! I would stop myself mid word and it would come out Ga..ham, or Ga...penguin. I liked mullet a lot, but I work with a woman who has one and I thought it best to refrain from using that word.
I realized how much I actually said God, and it helped.
Or you could try putting NOT in there.
Say "I'm not sorry."
That is preferrably followed by a...
and whut? and whut huh?! Biznatch.
I think you should just start off with the silly words. You can work your way up to cursing at people. Heh.
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Heh yeah I have that. It's like a tick. If someone pushes past me I apologise. Several theories:
1) could be down to insecurity and fear of losing people
2)The politeness rammed into you at a young age to the point of having a phobia of rudeness
3)it's said with the hope of getting an apology back from the guy which you feel you deserve.
Alll of these apply to me so I'd advise that as you feel a "sorry" coming on you pause for a couple of seconds and ask yourself if you were really in the wrong. It's tricky to catch yourself before you say it but you'll get used to it. It's the same as trying to train yourself out of any automatic response like when you change your phone number or any speech tick such as say "like" in the middle of sentences (I do that too. it even annoys me.)
It's pretty unlikely to be such a big problem it drives your boyfriend away but i'm sure he'd like yto see you with a litte more confidence in yourself.
Good luck x
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I used to do that a lot but my boyfriend would just tell me that I didn't need to say it. I just made an effort to not say it all the time after that. I know that I don't need to say it all the time but it was just a habit of mine.
I suggest just trying to take more notice of when you'd usually say it and then you can hold back and it won't happen as much. If there's no need to say, then just choose not to say it, so when you actually need to say it, it's more important and not just something you say all the time.
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