Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us




Question Posted Tuesday January 10 2006, 4:33 pm

I'm 15/f I like someone and of course since I'm the most stupidest person on earth it just happens to be my best guy friend. Whenever we talk I'm usually fumbling for words and he just seems so casual. Lately he's been noticing how different I am with him, and I think he's starting to figure out that I like him more then a friend. How do I keep my cool and talk to him like we're JUST friends again, even though I like him more than that?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


susana answered Tuesday January 10 2006, 5:58 pm:
OK, first off you're NOT the most stupid person on earth! Many of us really fall for our best guy friends because they so often hold the qualities we'd like to have in a boyfriend. It sounds like this has happened in your case and I don't blame you at all!

You didn't say whether or not your friend already has a girlfriend. Are you hesitant about telling him your feelings because 1) he has a girlfriend, or 2) you're afraid of ruining your friendship? If he already has a girlfriend, then definitely try to keep these feelings you're having at bay right now and then see what happens. When you're with him, just breathe evenly and speak a little slower if you have to just so that you don't feel so nervous. However, I suspect he doesn't have a girlfriend. Don't know why, but that's what I'm thinking...so, if he doesn't have a girlfriend, you might consider just talking to him and letting him know how you're feeling. I know this may be scary and that you probably are afraid that it will change your friendship even if you two don't end up getting together. However, it would seem to me that right now while you're trying to hold in your feelings and not having a lot of success with that (not a cristicsm, okay), PLUS you think that he's started to figure things out...the friendship could get a little strained just because of the tension. If this guy is really a good friend, then just try telling him that at this point you've realized that he's the type of guy you'd like to go out with and does he have any thoughts on that. Tell him that you want him to be honest with you. Let him know how much his FRIENDSHIP means to you and that you don't want to jeopordize it, but that you just need to work this through WITH him instead of on your own. Hopefully he'll be a good enough friend to talk to you honestly about this and the two of you can work it out together - whether you end up dating or not. Sure, it could be a little uncomfortable at first no matter what happens, but hopefully if you both keep the communication open, you'll get past that initial awkwardness.

I know you asked how you can keep your cool and just talk to him as a friend, trying to ignore your feelings. But personally, I don't think it's very healthy to ignore our feelings especially if someone else is beginning to suspect that something is going on. My guess is that no matter what you two decide to do, in the end you'll feel better for having talked to him and there will be some relief that it's out in the open. You won't have to wonder what he's thinking, and hopefully you'll get over that fumbling for words because you've allowed yourself to get something important off your chest. Meaning, I think it will be easier to talk to him once you get started than it has obviously been for a while now that you've discovered these feelings you have for him. And hey, don't beat yourself up!! This is a very typical, albeit uncomfortable, situation. Now BREATHE. And open up to your BEST guy friend. I think you'll be relieved after you do so.

Do let me know how it goes when - providing IF - you talk to him. I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way! Good luck.

[ susana's advice column | Ask susana A Question
]


More Questions:

<<< Previous Question
Next Question >>>

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker