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humorist-workshop
Not a Good Situation. :(
Okay, I'd really appreciate your opinion specifically. If you're able to help me out, I'd be ever so thankful!!!
I'm a seventeen year old, female, by the way.
Basically, I'm not a good eater. At all. It just doesn't happen. I just don't do it. Sometimes for one to two straight weeks at a time. I suppose that's just the foolish way I deal with my "unhappiness".
Okay, and so.. I haven't tried to hide this from my family. I just don't come down to dinner, and don't touch the food they leave in my room for me. It's not a big secret. To be honest, I guess I like the fact that I'm being a total moron and not eating. I know that's not something to be proud of, but it makes me happy. I've been this way for about a year now, and I'm glad my family doesn't jump my back about it.
Thing is: why the hell don't they!?! I know you're not a mind reader, and I'm not expecting you to be, but wouldn't you assume that they would be worried? I know you have no way of truly knowing this, but WHY do you think that they are not speaking up about this? Why aren't they mad? We never ever mention it. Only my immediate family knows, and I want to keep it this way.
It just seems that I'm more concerned for myself than they are. They're loving parents; great parents! But, it seems they don't have any objections about this, and that worries me. Well, this problem shouldn't be going on whatsoever, but to be occurring for a year is utter craziness and stupidity!! I know this type of behavior is unhealthy, and I'm willing to stop. But the thing is, to "stop", I feel I'd need to find "happiness" first. And I'm not expecting total "happiness", but just something better than what I've got right now. It doesn't work for me, plain and simple. True.. it's JUST as simple as picking up a burger and ramming it in my face - that's all it takes, physically. The thing is, "mentally", or whatever, it's much more than that.
Again, I feel the only way I can kick this poor behavior in the ass is to find "happiness". I know I can find that "happiness" somewhere else, meaning.. move out of my home. And, I'm okay with that. I want to do that. I NEED to do that. I'd really like to have my parents blessing on this, but I don't need it to take action.
My Dad is okay, and said if I wanna go, the door is always open, whether I'm coming or going. But my Mom is just as furious as can be!! I feel this is going to HELP me. I NEED to do this. Why the hell isn't my Mom phased about my not eating, yet she flips at the thought of my moving out?? You might also want to take into consideration that if I moved out, I would not stay within the state. I would, however, get a place by my brother. My brother is 33 and an EMT. I honestly feel this move would be the best thing for me. Hell, I'd consider moving in with my brother and getting a job to pay my rent at his place, all to help set my Mother's mind at ease. Problem there is, he doesn't have any room at his house. Therefore, that is impossible.
Anyhow, I'd like a Mother's opinion on this, if you'd be willing to dish it out. I've considered the fact that she might believe I'm doing it for the attention. But, I've been this way for AT LEAST a year. It is not "for the attetion", it is my LIFE! It's how I LIVE! :(
I guess my overall question is this: do you think it'd be nerve of me to be upset at my parents for being disappointed at my want to move out to improve my health and well being?? I know that if I do this, I can support myself. Okay, and if not.. then I fail, but I'm willing to accept living with that. And either way, it's been voiced over a million times that the doorway here is always open, and I am always welcome.
Reviewing this, I'm noticing the length. This one is a doozy, but your opinion means more than you know to me....
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I think your family, probably especially your mom is in denial about your not eating.
She probably tells herself you eat at school or at a friends house, whatever. I'm sure she would care big time if she knew different. She may even try to deny its a problem even if you confronted her with it.
Since you know it isn't good for you to be doing this, I'm not going to give you a speech about it. I know you're smart enough to know the best thing is to get help. Soon. I hope you will.
I honestly don't think being happy will make a difference. Your body gets used to not eating. You need brain food to be happy anyway, vicious circle. :(
I think you also know in the back of your head somewhere that your brother, being an EMT will notice and say something.
Talk to your parents. Tell them whats going on. Go to your brothers if you need to after that. Find the happiness if you can. If you don't sounds like Dad will let you come back home.
You know the first step. Tell your parents. Then get some help. You may think you can help yourself, but, from what I have read that is very hard to do, and really not safe.
Good luck. Let me know how it goes, I will be thinking about you. :)
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