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Whats wrong with me?
Please try to help. Heres the problem.. Last May I went out of town to live with my father and got a job there and stuff, the only time I went outside was when I had to go to work. My father and I had a lot of problems, we fought all the time because he always has been a HORRIBLE dad, I was only there so that I could get a job. Well, I moved back home in October because I couldn't stand living with my father. The thing is, ever since I moved back home I havent stepped foot outside even once. When someone knocks at the door or I know someone in the house is expecting company, I run and lock myself in another room. When I wake up and all the blinds are open, I close them (this really makes my family mad). But for some reason I am terrified of going outside and being seen. I don't know why. Can someone please give me some answers? I rate 5's
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Dear What's Wrong w/ Me,
Nothing is "wrong" with you, but you are depressed...I'm guessing in part because you are feeling abandoned. (Usually the emotion under the surface of depression is anger.) Yes, we all have to come to grips with parents who are often emotionally flawed. This is not an easy thing to do, and it will get in your way, if you let it!
I'd like to suggest that you reach out and ask for help. Yes, I know it seems like too much to ask you to do, but dear one, your future depends on it. If you continue feeling and acting out as you are right now, things will NOT improve. As your situation continues to go downhill, you'll find yourself more depressed and it will go on, and on, and on...a vicious cycle really!
Guess what! You do have the ability to turn things around, with some effort on your part. You might speak with a shool counselor, or google "teen hotlines" then, get the 800 number and speak to an anonymous hotline counselor. You might also ask you doctor about making a referral for you to see a counselor. Doctors can, and do, make referrals when their patients need this kind of support.
The important thing here is to reach out and ask for help. You are worth it, and with some effort on your part, it will get better. Trust me, it will.
I wish you well,
Earth Mother
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i may be wrong, but it seems that there is something that happened when you were at your dad's that you are not mentioning, or it may be even something that you're not aware of. such phobias develop when you are subconsciously trying to deal with something. whatever it is, i think the best way (and probably the only way) to deal with it is to see a psychotherapist. they'll help you figure out what it is that's making you act this way, and then they'll help you deal with the real problem and get rid of your phobia. i know it's expensive, but it will be sure to help you, and it's possible that your health insurance will cover a few visits.
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I believe you have a condition called agoraphobia, which is a severe anxiety condition and a phobia, as well as a pattern of avoidant behavior. You have a fear of the feelings that come up when certain things happen, like, someone coming over. The anxiety you experience is so intense that, for you, the only way to get rid of it is to hide so the feeling will go away. I can’t say as I blame you. I have included some web sites below that will help you to understand your condition better. I also have an exercise I think you should do every time you have one of these anxiety episodes. Since you find a quiet secluded place to hide anyway you can make use of this time. Find yourself someplace you can sit or lay in a relaxing position. Start to slow your breath down. As soon as it is at a manageable pace start to breath in slowly to the count of eight, then breath out to the count of eight (that’s one one thousand, 2 one thousand, etc.). Once you've slowed your body down to match your breathing start to notice what is tense and how you are holding your body. Notice the parts of the body that you are tensing. Really take note of this feeling (bad, good or indifferent). Really feel it for a moment. You could even intensify it as much as you can stand. Then, start to let the tension go in each area of the body one area at a time. You do this on the exhale. Picture in your mind that each time you breath out the tension is released. Spend some time with each release and observe how this feels to you. It may even feel uncomfortable for you at first, but stick with it. It will relax and stay there. After you’ve released the tension in your entire body hold this relaxed state for as long as possible. You can now use this time before you to mull over problems such as personal growth, spiritual, school, and work for example. Don’t be surprised if you fall asleep at first (sleep is the ultimate relaxed state). But, do work on staying awake. Being aware of what is going on physically in your body when you have these “fight or flight” reactions will be helpful in your gaining control of your life. The goal is to eventually be able to function in public or even answer the door. To start off push yourself to do something that has these anxiety feelings attached to it. You will notice how you are holding your body as you are doing it. You will release the tension that you are creating within your body with each breath as you did in the exercise only faster. There will then come a time that all you have to do is think about it and you can change your state of mind. You see, what I am suggesting you do is reprogram yourself. We have been given these wonderful bodies with no instructions. Everyone is stumbling through life trying to figure it out and most of the time don’t. Your parents are among us all. They are teaching you everything they have learned that will keep you safe, etc. They’ve never been taught how to be in control of what is going on within themselves and their bodies. They really can't help you there. You do need to seek some professional help. Look for support groups in your area. Put agoraphobia in the search engine along with your city and see what pops up. Also, this exercise I gave you will help you gain control. Don’t feel you have to accomplish everything at once. Take baby steps. Start off with doing the exercise in private and then work yourself up to public appearances. But do try to do something everyday that will push you. Once you've pushed passed these intense feelings you will be able to accomplish anything you wish to.
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Namaste,
LABELLE
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