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I'm a smoker now!
Hi YG!
Before I say any thing else I'm going to say "I'M A SMOKER"! MY DAD GAVE ME PERMISSION!!!!!!
OMG! DID YOU HEAR THAT???
He woke me up this morning so we could talk before he went to work. I thought for sure he was going to say no because he was so serious looking but I knew I wasn't going to get punished because the first thing he did was hug me and say he loved me. He asked if I slept ok and I said no because I was so nervous and he said he didnt sleep good either.
Any way, he said that mom had showed him my letter and he said it could use some work with the grammar but I did a good job expressing my self and being honest and that he appreciated me being mature enough to come to them about this. He said he wasnt happy that I was smoking but he had a lot of respect for me for telling the truth. He told me that he started smoking when he was 16 but didnt tell his parents until he went to college.
He said that he knew from talking to my mom that I was already addicted but if I wanted to quit, he and mom would get me things to help. And he asked me if I wanted to quit, and I said no. And he said my mom said I would say that. And then he got real quiet and said, I can't believe you really smoke. And he started crying and I'm like oh no, so I hug him and tell him I'm sorry. And he hugs me back and says its ok and that its just going to take a while for him to get used to it. And then he just wipes his eyes and starts talking again like he was never crying. Gawd that was so weird.
And then he gets up and says he has to go to work but says that my mom will talk to my brothers at breakfast and tell them what is happening and that he'd talk to them again when he came home. And then he kissed me and went to work. And I'm wondering what happened? Did he give me permission to smoke? Or what?
I got dressed and then I went to my mom's room and the first thing she does is ask me if I talked to my dad and I said yeah, but I tell her I don't know what he said but I think he gave me permission to smoke but I wasn't sure because he really didnt say for sure. And she said he did give me permission and then she hugged me and said she loved me. And then she starts crying and I start crying and I'm feeling so weird and its like its not really happening to me. It felt so weird! And then she wipes her eyes and kind of smiles and asks me if I'm ok and i tell her yeah, but I'm feeling really confused about everything and she tells me to sit down and we'll have a cigarette and she'll tell me what she and Dad talked about last night.
So we're sitting on the bed and I'm smoking with her which is just really freaking weird and she's telling me that my dad got real mad at first when she told him but then he calmed down after she showed him my letter. And then she said he went from wanting to make me quit to maybe letting me smoke outside or in the garage. And she said she told him that this was about more than being addicted and that he didnt' understand because he wasn't a girl. And she said she told him what it was like for her when she was a girl and she started smoking and how girls start smoking for different reasons than boys do and it means differnt things to them. And after that he said she was right and that he didn't understand but he would be ok with whatever she decided as long as my mom made it clear to my brothers that they couldn't smoke.
My mom told me that from now on she and my dad were going to treat me like an adult and I can smoke like an adult for as long as I show them I deserved to be treated that way. And I asked her if that meant I could smoke in the house and she said it meant I could smoke anywhere she and my dad were allowed to smoke. She asked me if I had a favorite brand of cigarettes and I said I kind of liked Virginia Slims Menthols and she said she'd call my dad and have him buy a carton on his way home from work but until then I could smoke hers and she gave me a pack of her Benson & Hedges and a lighter. And I told her I had a pack of Virginia Slims in my room and asked if it would be ok if I got them and she said yeah and asked me where I got them and I told her out of a vending machine the last time we went to a restaurant. And she said she did that to when she started smoking.
OK, this is about my brothers. After me and my mom talked, we went down stairs and I helped her make breakfast. Actually I did most of it. I made scrambled eggs and bacon and toast and she made the coffee. That's going to be one of my jobs like forever and I've got a lot of jobs now. I've got to help with the laundry and the dishes and help my little brother with his homework and so much other stuff and I think thats so cool. I'd help out my mom even if she didn't let me smoke. I just didnt' know what I could do because she never asked me before. And then she told me to wake up my brothers and she'd tell them about me smoking while we ate breakfast and to put my cigarettes on the table where they could see them.
So we're sitting there and my brothers are eating and me and my mom are drinking coffee and my older brother sees the Virginia Slims and asks whose they are and my mom says they're mine and my he laughs because he thinks she's kidding. And my mom says there really mine and that i'm addicted to cigarettes like she and dad are so they had to give me permission to smoke and she says she needs to talk to him and my little brother about it. And he still thinks she's kidding but I can tell he's not sure and my mom tells me its ok and to go ahead and have a cigarette. And now I'm really freaking out because my brothers are staring at me but I do it and my little brother gets all excited and starts yelling about how I'm smoking just like she is and he asks her if my cigarettes are real and my mom tells him they are and they're just like hers and Daddy's and he's never to touch them. And then she tells my older brother that the same goes for him to and that cigarettes are off limits to him to. And my older brother isn't saying nothing. He's just staring at me and shaking his head like he can't believe it. And then he says its not fair because he's older than me and he should be able to smoke if I can smoke.
And my mom asks him if he wants to smoke and he says no but he should be able to at least try it and make up his own mind. And my little brother starts saying how he wants to try it to. And my mom tells them both that they wouldn't like it and they should just forget about it. And my older brother asks her how she can say he wouldn't like it if he never tried it before and my mom got real mad and said fine and that if he wanted to try it he could try it this once so he'd know what it was like but never again. So she told me to give my brothers each a cigartte from my pack and I'm thinking no I don't want to but my mom says its ok and to let them try it.
Gawd, I felt so bad for my little brother cause he's only 6. He got so sick he almost threw up and started crying. And when my mom asked him if he wanted to try it again he told her that he never would do it again. And my older brother hated it too. He coughed and put it out after just one puff. He said it was awful and didn't see how anyone could do it. And my mom told him she was glad to hear him say that and to remember that the next time he thought about smoking.
And then my mom told them both that she knew they thought smoking looked cool but they needed to remember its an addiction and once you start its almost impossible to stop even though its bad for you. And then she told them that she wanted them to learn from my mistake.
And then my little brother asks her that since I smoke if it means I'm a grown up now like her and Daddy. And my mom told him that in away it does, even though I'd always be his sister. She told them both that since smoking is an adult habit and I'm a smoker now, it wouldn't be fair to treat me like a kid any more and some things would probably change but that it didn't mean they loved me or respected me any more than them but that things would be different from now on and to try to understand it.
So that was it. OMG! This is the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you so much for helping me!!!! I'm so happy. I know its going to be strange getting used to smoking in front of people and my friends are going to freak when I tell them but this is such a great thing for me. I'm so happy!!!
Thank you so much YG!!!
I Love you!!
K8e
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K8e,
I am so glad that it all worked out. Hopefully your brothers won't start. It is so hard to stop.
Telling the truth is always the best. You did a very brave thing telling your parents and I am so glad it worked out for you!
I added you to my hotmail list by the way, so any time you want to email just to say hi...please do!
What a great way to start the new year! :)
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