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alright well theres this guy and I've always had a little thing for him.. I'm always going to have feelins for this guy but alright it seems like im his back up..well hes screwed me over about 3 times like he wil ltell me all this stuff like " I like you sooo much you have no idea" "I'm serious this time" all that kinda stuff..then in school he wont talk to me and i don't know its weird..and well the past 3 times he does the same thing then about 3 weeks ago he did it again and then the next day at school he didnt talk to me and that night he never called me and called his ex and was like "I Want you back I like you so much" and shes my bestfriend..its so complicated..but see now the past week and a half it started all over..now hes doing it all again except this time i dont know whether 2 believe him because I don't want to get hurt again..like all the other times before i dont think he ever really liked me.. i mean his reputation is like he likes 5 girls at a time and he tells u what you wanna hear but its not true and stuff..but this time i dont know it seems like it might be different i mean all his friends are like do you like him do you like him..he calls me everyday we're on the phone for awhile everynight..and i dont know what to believe..i dont want to take the risk of getting hurt again but i like him soo much and i mean i guess i just WISH everything hes saying is true..like idk its happened around 4 times how he would be like I Like you soo much babe im serious this time..think about it..and everything and then he doesnt talk to me in school the next day and the next night doesnt even call me and calls other girls and tells them the exact samee thing..but this week and a half he has talked to me in school and isnt really saying it to other girls..and like all the other times before my friends would be like you like her? because he would always tell me he liked me and he would tell my friends no and eveyrthing like that..and see hes telling my bestfriend (not his ex) that hes trying to change and everything..but i dont know..please help with any advice you have..it would be so much..i know its confusing..and theres way more to the story but yeah..thanks so much!!!
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I don't know how young you guys are, but this fellow seems like he's already a player. I don't like what he's putting you through, nor do I like what he's obviously putting other girls through. Actually sweetie, he sounds like a jerk. OK, we all like jerks at one time or another in our lives - even women go through this. As I said to one other questioner, there is an old saying that goes like this, "Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me." That means that you've been allowing yourself to get burned over and over again by this guy and I would have to ask myself why? It sure sounds like you like something about this guy, but by now, aren't you getting tired of his games? It sounds as though you've made yourself available to him whenever he decides he wants to come crawling back to you. That then allows him to continue doing to you what he's been doing because he knows you'll take him back no matter what.
I know you said that this time feels different to you and that his friends are asking you if you like him or not - I'm guessing they haven't done this in the past? - but think real hard, and ask yourself if this really, really is different than how it has been in the past. OK, so his guy friends are approaching you this time and that may give you hope. I can understand that. And, he says he's changing. That's unfortunately a great line to give to girls when a guy is trying to get in good favor with them. I personally don't think he's had much time TO change. Sounds to me like he needs a few years to go before he can honestly change his ways.
I think you're putting yourself in a terribly emotionally draining situation by even considering this guy to be in your life anymore. Try to be the one who makes the mature choice to have this merry-go-round stop! Surely there are other guys out there who would be much more fun to be with, you wouldn't be on an emotional roller coaster all the time, you wouldn't have to worry if he's already got his eye on another girl, etc. As I've said before to others, if you keep yourself tied to this guy in whatever way, you're closing the door to allowing other, sweet, kind guys in your life. Guys who will respect you and not play head games with you.
So for now, I'd distance myself from this guy. If you're really, really stuck on him, at least make yourself unavailable for a while (a good while!) and see how things go. You may find that you discover someone else more deserving of you to put your energy into, and that you really don't like this guy as much as you think you do. You also may force his hand, in that he will be so stunned that you are not available to him just because he's come back, that it will help him try to truly change. But beware. As I said above, I am betting this guy is NOT ready to change, no matter what YOU do. YOU can't make anyone change, so don't even spend you're energy trying. Why would he want to change right now when all the girls he's hopping around with keep accepting him back into their lives?!
You deserve A LOT better and a good guy is out there for you. Allow yourself to experience being treated well. Don't fall into a rut that is so difficult to get out of. I wish you luck and I am hoping that you open that door to someone else. Let me know how things end up. I'm guessing you'll make the healthy and right decision if you really think about how you're being treated - which is very badly. And that stinks!
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