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hi thanks for the feedback. you asked me some questions so im going to answer them to get more feedback from you. First of all im a teen and we work in a supermarket, not an office. You were right when he passed by and never looked at me, i did the same thing back. maybe i am playing mind games, i think you are right about calling the girl ugly it was uncalled for, but i was upset. I have had lunch with him on our break and we sat at the window. we both just looked out of it and when i tried to look at him while talking he would never look at me. I haven't seen him since the party (haven't had the same shift) but how do you suggest i should act/ and do. Thanks for the feedback
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Oops, it was bound to happen: I talked about never assuming anything and what did I do? I assumed you were referring to an office situation. So sorry.
Still, my advice would be about the same for you guys working in a supermarket as it was when I thought you were working in an office: be careful about having a romance with someone with whom you work. Luckily in this situation though, it seems as though you guys can work different shifts!
OK, now remember, I didn't suggest that only YOU were playing mind games. That tends to go both ways with couples. However, if you were ignoring him because you THOUGHT he was ignoring you, then okay, you were actually doing the mind-gaming. I'm really not criticizing you though because we all do it. Oh sigh. I asked you if you thought this guy might be shy. The way you described your lunch with him sounds like he could very well be shy. It sounds as though you both were talking, only that he had trouble looking straight at you. A sure sign of shyness. But, you might want to ask yourself very honestly if he could possibly be sort of stuck on himself and tends to be rude by not really getting into a conversation and giving anyone eye contact? How have you observed him with others? I mean other girls, to be exact.
Because you guys have not had any kind of relationship going - you really haven't except to be congenial to each other at work - then I would suggest that you do nothing out of the ordinary. Just act yourself and don't do anything differently than you have before. Pretend, if you can, that the party had not happened and that you guys are picking up wherever you left off - whatever that means...as friends, as friendly co-workers, etc. Try to just be cool. And remember that patience is almost always a good thing. If after a while, you truly decide that this guy is shy, then you can decide what you might want to do about making this friendship move along. Always start with the aspect of it being a friendship that has the potential to grow - as a really great friendship OR as something more than that. Lastly, try not to read too much into his actions or inactions when you obviously don't know him very well yet. When we get into the habit of doing that and trying to analyze every minute thing, then we run the BIG risk of driving ourselves nuts and other people away! Oh say it ain't so! Ah, but yes. So, again, be your sweet self, smile and chat, but don't have such high expectations while this situation is still such a "newbie." Give the guy a chance. Give yourself a chance. Go with the flow for now. Hope that this has helped a little more. Don't hesitate to let me know more stuff as things progress (or digress...let's hope that doesn't happen) and if you have any more questions or comments. Again, please don't do a trip on yourself and pull him into it. It just doesn't sound like you know this guy very well at the moment. Good luck!
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