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falling apart with the one guy i care a lott for


Question Posted Saturday December 3 2005, 2:06 pm

im in a new relationship. before we were going out..me and the guy have been friends for a year..we got reeeeally close. we have an awesome bond. thing is, things are shaky to him and hes unsure about everything. he wants it to work but hes just confused,feels cornered, wants to tone things down... i told him to stick with me and we will see..he will clear things up and in a little time he will see if he wants to stay together or not. he told me he cares about me and doesnt want to hurt me..our relationship is on shaky terms right now. i will do anything to make this work..my question to you is..what are some nonphysical things to say/do with him so we can build our relationship up? he said maybe hes just new with all this and thats all..but hes confused. so i basically have to be prepared for things to fall apart or to be ok..please help

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brokenagain answered Sunday December 4 2005, 4:40 pm:
Ok i am going to tell you the best thing to do and i only know this b/c i am going through it. There is not too much you can do non pshysically -i mean there is always communication and love to work on but he is already confused and feels cornered and i know you want things to work but he cannot see what he wants if he is with you. You will need to space from each other and he will find what he wants when he is alone. I know it sounds hard but my fiance left me for the 3rd time in october--he felt trapped confused and scared--and he could not be with me no more--so i was crushed and the first 2 times i let him go and he came back but the third timei let him go for good. If a man doesnt know what they want after the third time then they have some growing up to do. I dont know how old you guys are-but if he is already confused that means he needs time to think about what he wants. If he apart from you he will have his space and time to miss you not being with you and the clouds will clear but it wont happen if he is together. You dont want to ty to hard to make things work b/c he needs to do the same i tried and tired and it pushed my ex away. It takes 2 people to amke or break a relationship and if only one is trying the other one will only take that for granted and not realize what he ahs got until its gone. Just approach him and ask him if he needs time and space and that you love him and want things to work and if he needs time you will give thaty to him. dont let him knowyour waiting b/c then he will take all the time he wants b/c he knows you will be there no matter what. You cant be walking on egg shells to wait and see if he is going to clear his head or want to work things out just let him know you want things to work but you love him enough to give him his space and to work things out in his head. It does really suck i know this i lost my finace--but this time i let him go for good. Sorry it took me a little to get to you i was off here for 2 days but if you need anything please let me know i would like tohelp you through this for i know what your going through. Good luck and keep me posted,

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sweetjewel answered Saturday December 3 2005, 6:02 pm:
why not try to make him feel more comfortable with you being more than friends with him. just try talking to him and maybe spend some extra time with him, without being too clingy.. good luck !

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