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me again....
ok i couldnt take it anymore...i needed an answer..i texted him to find out something i said"ok look i need your help. Love is blindare you tryig to tell me something and i am not seeing the picture? am i stupid for having hope please help me if you can" and i never heard nothing so again...im hurting myself maybe i deserve this shit b/c i know i shouldnt be texting him and shouldnt be looking for answers he dont have--what the hell is my malfunction?why am i so naive? I start to think about things and wonder why my children have to be with out again. I am so stressed not just emotionally but mentally physically and finacially--i am so used to people coming in and out of my life this is like normal for me and it shoul be easier now--but it is harder-i wanted the best for my kids and for once in my sons life he had a stable family and someone he looked up tp as a "dad" and now he walked out on him also--its very disturbing and not only for me do i want him back but for the children also--and yes i know is this someone i want ot be with my kids--right now yes--its very hard to find a man let alone someone who will accept my children and that my children will accept--i dont want to bring people in and out and thats why i thought i finally had it together and it all fell apart--this is why i feel lik eim going in circles--everyone says"you are so pretty why would he leave you" Isay well i guess being pretty has nothing to do with it if your unhappy-and i didnt think imade him unhappy-maybe sometimes when we argues but damn it aint the end of the world. SO here i am torn into pieces and all i want to do is hide in my nut shell and not come out--i need more things to do but then again even when i am doing something i am always thinking about him and i have these visualizations that he will come to my door or be here when i get home from work and of course as im driving down the road there is no car....what am i going to do? im driving deeper into this hole and i cant get out evem though i know i have to do something--like you said i havent gotten him out of my system and i dont know if i ever will....well i am going to bed now...to just cry again--i cant control it..i dont feel whole and the only thing that will is him coming home...but soon enough he will have access to his computer and i will be squash..kind of like i am now..but maybe thats what he needs to try to find someone else and he will realize there is onlu one me---or maybe he dont care as long as he gets his...and just the thought of that is killing me....i hope you feel better...and hope things are well for you..your a great person and i look forward to hearing from you and helping me maybe one day i will actually have something good to say...right now i am nothing but ...i dont even know..thank you again....
**Kristen**
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I guess I am going to have to keep telling you this in every email..YOUA RE NOT CRAZY..YOUA RE IN LOVE...IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT....IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE TO WANT A RELATIONSHIP...NOT JUST YOU... I will repeat that evertime we speak if Ihave to until you finally get that part. As for being pretty and men leaving...Look at Halle Berry, Beyonce (Jay-Z cheated on her with Free from BET) and myself. If I could get my picture up here so you could see...I was a model..doin' my thing in NYC, FLorida and the like and guess what...WE ALL GOT DISSED, CHEATED ON AND LEFT!! So, trust me, people need not say..wow you are so pretty,how could he leave you..Prettiness doesn't make people stay or treat you right..the person has to want tostay and treat you right. Prettiness fads, but true love is deeper than anll of that superficial stuff. I know you want someone for you children and you don;t want someone coming in and out of your life, but look ast what is going on now..simple questions...has he been in and out of your life before?? Is he in and out of your life now?? Will you trust that if you and he get back togethe that he will NOT leave again?? Honey, he is already what you didn;t want him to be for you and your children..IN AND OUT OF YOUR LIFE. You have a problem within yourself thatyou need to fix. You stated you need him to make you feel whole...but you should already freel whole within yourself due to who you are TO YOURSELF and what YOU mean to YOURSELF. I mean this, we were not born as half a person or as puszzle pieces. We were born as one individual who came into thsi world alone. People ONLY ENHANCE our lives but we have to make ourselves whole. If you feelthat you need someone else tomake you feel whole than, Honey there is a HOLE in your life that only you can fill. I got your other email about your dream and GIRL I UNDERSTAND. I have had MANY of those dreams that make youw ake up and say.."What?? Now that doesn;t even make sense". Thenyouhear the radio in your dream and you are like.."Man...this is scarey!!!!". I will speak on thise too. Just that right now, I am on MUCh medication and I just came home from the doctor and he says Ihave Chronic Bronchitis that has spread to my ears. I am alittle grogy and I want to answer your concens while I am lucid. I hope that there are not too many mistakes in this email and I WILL be back on in about 2 hours to answer the other email. Also, what I do when Ihave those types of dreams is that I remmeber the symbols and things of the dream and look online to see what the symbols mean. I have also called a woman named Teno and she even told me when I was going to start totalk about marrigae and the like and it happend. So Ican give you those addresses too. I just can't do it onhere for I don't want the owners of the site to get mad. If you want those addresses email me and I will send them to you privately. But the one thaing that always gets me through is prayer. It may not work like a magic pill as soon as yousay the words but it works for me. I know, however, you need tools that make you feel better instantly with interaction, so that is why I am going to send you the links.
I will be back..I apologize for the illness and delay. I am just soooo sick right now.
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