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thank you
I appreciate all you have said-really. He did say maybe he was overwhelmed and scared. I did make it appoint to let him know like 2 weeks later i see now what he meant when he said i need to start going out-i didnt see it before and i made a joke and said so if thats what you were trying to prove you did it you can come home now-he was feeling unhappy and i dont know why neither does he. He said he is confused about what he wants...what does that say for him? As for the desperate and clingy i agree and i said to myself that i have to stop he knows how i feel and what i want leave it at that. I realize but i cant seem to do it. why? If you have anything to add please do if not thank you for your time
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are welcome. As for being confused about what he really wants, well it still comes to his choices. There has to be something he is trying to choose between. Maybe his 10 year marriage left a bad taste in his mouth and he is trying to decide if he wants to be tied down again just yet. A sort of cold feet.
As for you not wanting to let go I can understand. I did not want to let go of my husband after 7 years either. Why? It's fear of change, or loneliness. Humans have a disease that is not genetic, but psychological. It is often referred to as co-dependency. I know I had it bad when my husband and I split up.
The best thing that you can do is to pretend you are moving on. Get up every day and go on with your life. Don't spend so much time on trying to get him to come back. Try to talk to him less and less every week. After you have gone day after day, going through the motions of moving on, you'll wake up one day and it will hurt less than it did the day before. Then a little while later you will notice that it doesn't hurt that much at all anymore. By pretending to move on, before you know it you will have moved on.
It is going to be one of the hardest things you have ever had to do. Losing someone you love is a hard thing to swallow. Here's something I hope you will find funny, but it might work. Take down all the photos you have of him. Gather all his things and anything that reminds you of him. Get dressed up in your best black dress, sit down and go through all of the things you have. Cry your guts out, tell the things that you will miss him. Then take everything and put it in the garage, or dig a hole in the back yard and bury them in box. Have a fake funeral for the love you have for him.
I know it sounds stupid, but it would be a start to accepting his absence.
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
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