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I have no friends
I'm not normal. I never have been, but I used to have friends. When I went to college I stayed in touch with two high school friends for three years, then lost touch with them. I graduated from college six years ago. I have no friends from college. I had a friend where I worked during school, but when I got a new job we lost touch. I even swore to him we wouldn't lose touch, that I wouldn't make that mistake, but it happened anyway. All my acquainances now are co-workers, and I don't hang out with any of them. My brother is three years younger than I am, and we spent two years together in college, where we grew very close and spent a lot of time drinking together. But that was six years ago, and since then he has lived 2 1/2 hours away. We don't drink anymore. We have common interests, such as backpacking, hunting, and skiing, but lately I get the feeling that he does these things with me more out of obligation than anything else. He has a closely knit social network, people he's been friends with for years. It's me. Something's wrong with me. I've rationalized that I didn't need to make new friends because I have my wife and my brother, but now I feel him slipping away. Life at home is business as usual--not an active, close friendship so much as a partnership. Our common interest is our child. I guess I'm feeling lonely and alienated. Yet I aknowledge that I've alienated myself from others, not the other way around. I didn't mind losing touch with my other friends, because maintaining long-distance friendships is a burden to me. But I never thought I'd lose touch (emotionally) with my brother. I'm convinced he enjoys the company of his friends more than my company. He's on his way up to see me for a few days. We're going deer hunting. I thought he'd be staying for the weekend (it's Wednesday), but I spoke to my parents today and he told them he'd be leaving Friday night, because "sitting in the woods for two days is enough." This is what's eating away at me. Is two days with ME long enough? Why didn't he tell me he only wanted to hunt for two days? Why hasn't he considered the possibility of staying the weekend and doing something else with me besides hunting. It's as if he's only coming up here to hunt with me, and only to please me. And once he's fulfilled that obligation, he's going home to be with his real friends. You're all going to tell me I'm reading too much into his comment. But the fact remains that I feel as if we're estranged, and it's really upsetting me. He seems to get irritated with me easily. I feel as if I have to walk on eggshells around him. Obviously, considering the backstory I've given you, I don't blame him for this situation--I blame myself. He's the one with a group of old friends, and I have none. But I'm afraid to tell him what I'm telling you guys because if I'm imagining it all, I'm afraid he's going to be put off. (Eggshells!) OK--what are your reactions to my story?????
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think that you are so afraid of losing contact with your friends that you really did. When we dont conquer our fears they sometimes conquer us and let them happen. Maybe you should go into a chatroom and find people in your area. Meeting people on the internet is sometimes a bad thing but if you just want to be friends with them then thats ok. Find someone that you can really talk to as a friend. If you wish to find your old friends try a search for them and regain your touch wit them. I think that your brother is not getting irritated with you at all. He may seem that way. Sometimes when people act like that there is somehting wrong or they feel a certain pain that they really want to share with you but cant. Maybe you and your wife should go out for a night just to get your life back on track. Its not good to worry to much. Maybe you should just concentrate on yourself for now and that way you wont think about what has happened. When your brother comes just make the best of what time you have with him. If you do this i promise it will help. Take it one day at a time and you should be ok.
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:`( im so sorry.
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