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advice!
(im 19 female)Im just asking, there is this guy i like a lot he liked me, soon as i told him i wasnt a virgin he simply lost interest! and he belives that the one he is going to marry should be a virgin.i feel like SHIT! he has told me he is not a virgin - ofcourse its ok for a guy not to be one isnt it! but anyway, then i told him that i was joking and that i didnt quite have sex.i really like this person and i regret loosing my virginity to this ONE bf" overseas, now if i was to get close with this guy could i live a lie and never tell him? or should i tell him? or should i forget him and move on! but i cant! nicest person iv ever met! what do i do!? is it good to keep it to myself and NEVER tell him.- i feel so guilty
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This guy is obviously lost in some sort of weird fantasy world where he thinks he's actually going to find a girl over the age of eighteen that is still a virgin.
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If a guy liked you for you, it shouldn't matter if you are a virgin unless you are a complete slut. If he is such a great guy, he would look past that. Don't keep a lie. I would tell him. If he doesn't accept that, then he isn't all that great after all. After all, he isn't a virgin either. He is just being a hypocrite.
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To be quite honest I think a lie is a terrible way to start out any relationship.
I do agree that being a guy who has sex with girls before they marry shouldn't hold such high expectations for the girl they decide to marry. But some are that way.
If he is dating you anyway, I would just continue and not worry about it over much. If he puts the moves on...turn him down. If he leaves, he wasn't worth it. If he stays, he may just forget his convictions and marry you one day.
Good luck :)
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best not to lie about it. There's a chance he'd find out one way or another and you'd never be able to be completely honest about your past which is never good in a relationship. Incidentally this guy sounds like a bit of an arse. For a start he's a hypocrite (as you pointed out) and if this virginity issue put him off he can't have been all that interested in you as a person to begin with. Putting the issue of virginity above love and trust for a person is (dare I say it) pretty immature and idealistic anyway.
I'd say carry on being friends with him if you like him but don't expect him to ever fully change his mind about the nice sexist logic he has going on. And the question is would you really want to get with a guy who only values you for the fact you're "untouched"?
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A relationship without trust never works. You need to sit him down and explain to him that you're sorry you were dishonest but you panicked because you thought you wouldn't be able to start something with him because of his reaction to you not being a virgin. You need to tell him how much you care about him and just see how he responds! There's just no point not being truthful because in the end he will find out and living with guilt is awful anyway! Good luck
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no it is not good to keep it to yourself,just tell him the truth and talk to him about things and if he doesnt get what your saying or he doenst want the truth then move on.well at least try to
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Hey..
i think telling him would be the right thing to do.. you know deep down inside yourself it is tho.. i think explaining a little bit of what happened with this guy you lost your virginity would help and i would tell this guy you like how you feel about him judging you about the whole not bein a virgin thing.. deff. dont forget about this guy dont let him go if you like him that much plus who knows he might come around and wont care.. dont hold guilt in.. it isnt the thing to do.. if you need anymore advice please contact me.. ♥ Dez
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I don't think you should lie to anyone about anything. I would never be able to lie to someone about something like that for a long time. That's wrong in my opinion. I think you should definitely tell him, and if he can't accept you for who you are..then you don't need him. If he wants to be with someone who is a virgin, that is something you can't change, so I don't think you should even bother trying to lie your way out of this one. Just tell him, and see where things go from there.
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